Cebuanos Hate Gloria Diaz

Ms Universe 1969 Gloria Diaz is getting flak from Cebuanos because of her comments about the use of an interpreter during beauty pageants.

When Gloria Diaz said "Kasi, when you think about a Cebuana can hardly speak English and, of course, Tagalog, maybe she should answer in Bisaya," Cebuanos went up in arms and immediately thought of ways to get back at Gloria Diaz.

Cebu City Rep Cutie del Mar spent her precious privilege speech to denounce Gloria Diaz and her statement, calling it an insult, and demand a public apology.

Not to be outdone, the Vice Mayors League of the Philippines-Cebu has issued a resolution declaring Gloria Diaz "persona non grata" in Cebu.

In the words of Angelica Jones: "over OA."

In this country, being called "bobo sa English" is one of the greatest insult that you can say against a person.

Isang malaking kamalian na isipan na hindi matalino ang isang Pilipino hindi marunong magsalita at umunawa ng Ingles.

Isang kapalaluan ang isipin na porke marunong kang mag-ingles class ka na.

Kaya Cutie del Mar tama na ang pagpapa cute sa Kongreso, get to work. And to the vice mayors, marami sa distrito nyo ang naghihirap, tulungan nyo kung paano mangisda.

Goodness, all these outrage over a freaking beauty contest!

Willie Revillame Quits ABS-CBN

Willie Revillame finally surfaced following months to laying low to announce in a press conference that he is rescinding his contract with ABS-CBN.

Before the people at the presscon could find out if there's an envelope with their name on it from Willie, ABS-CBN came back with "Willie will remain our bitch til his contract ends on September 2011."

Both Willie and ABS-CBN claim to be the aggrieved party in their agreement, so who is entitled to legally say "I quit you?" I guess we'll see the warring parties in court.

So basically, Willie revealed that he and one of the head bitches at ABS-CBN talked and agreed that Willie will be back on Wowowee on July 31.

But another head bitch who is higher on the totem pole blocked Willie's return, so came Pilipinas Win na Win and Kris Aquino's return to television. It was rumored that Willie wanted this head bitch gone from the network. So in the end, it all boiled down to Willie or the head bitch. Guess we know now who is more powerful.

Willie was offered a one-hour weekly show. Willie did not object to having another TV show, I don't think. What he didn't like was that it was pre-taped. Yes, pre-taped. If you ask me, pre-recording Willie hosting a show is an effective way of stopping the flow of caca coming out of his mouth when he is displeased about something.

The new Wowowee would have boasted new games, more prices like a house and lot, and minus Mariel Rodriguez, Valerie Concepcion and Cristy Fermin's newest target of tirade, Pokwang.

I think the new Wowowee would have been doomed from the start because the old problem at the old Wowowee would still there - Willie Revillame. Sooner or later Willie's arrogance will shine through. He can't help himself.

Did Toni Gonzaga Snub Pinoy Fans in Los Angeles?

There were online chika that Toni Gonzaga supposedly snubbed Filipino fans in Los Angeles, particularly in Methodist Church and Seafood restaurant. Fans complained Toni Gonzaga was often moody and refused to take off her shades when fans requested to take pictures with her.

This is not the first time I heard this kind of complained against Toni Gonzaga, that when she’s not in the mood, she lets it show. This is good for being true to oneself and to others. However, if you are an monkey in a circus entertainer, that is not a good idea.

In Toni’s defense, maybe she was PMS-ing at that time, that’s why the attitude. Or the fans mistook Toni of not smiling at them because her eyeballs are focused on different directions.

Once, a long time ago, there was this girl I know through work who is visually challenged, let’s just say. For the life of me, I had a hard time figuring out if she’s smiling at me because I don’t know if she’s looking at me. One eye is, but the other one is focused somewhere else. In turn, I can’t decide whether to smile at her because I’m not sure if she’s looking at me. One eye is, but the other one is somewhere else. Finally, somebody said focus on the good eye. That was a useless tip because we were, or I was, laid off not long after. For a while I worried that the nature of our job causes visual impairment because there was another girl who got the same affliction.

Okay, enough true to life stories. If I were a fan who paid to see Toni Gonzaga sing, I’d be pissed too if she’s not enthusiastic during the meet-and-greet with the fans. Bitch, better smile wide and pose with me likes she means it. I don’t care if you’re tired. I’m several hundred dollars/pesos poorer because of you.

According to Cristy Fermin, Toni Gonzaga, to her knowledge, is friendly to the fans and doesn’t have mood swings. Cristy mused that maybe Toni acted nice and friendly in front of her because she knew her attitude will be reported on her column. Gosh, the power of the pen and Cristy’s delusion of power.

Katrina Halili Tested Negative For Drugs

Actress Katrina Halili tested negative for illegal drugs, according the Philippines Drug Enforcement Agency (PDEA) said. Katrina Halili underwent three drug tests for marijuana, shabu and Ecstasy.

Whether she tested negative or positive, what bearing does it have on the proliferation of sex videos on the Internet? Anyway, testing negative only meant she hasn't taken drugs for at least six months, right?

I think whether they did or didn't use drugs two years ago is a case of he said, she said. Who would know the truth besides Hayden Kho, Katrina Halili and their drug dealer? Personally, wala akong paki kung drug user kayo noon. Pare-pareho lang kayong nagmamalinis. Kasama ka dun, Bong Revilla. (sorry, I couldn't resist the dig.)

At least she's got evidence she hasn't used drugs in the last few months that she can use in the libel suit she filed against Hayden Kho's mother. After this sex scandal is over, at least the libel suit will keep Katrina in the limelight for, I don't know, at least next year.

Again, I don't care whether Katrina Halili is a drug addict or not. I only care she, Hayden Kho, Vicki Belo and Bong Revilla go crawl back under a rock, stay there and never grace our TV screens again and forever.

Speaking of Hayden Kho, he underwent a three-hour grilling before the Philippine Medical Association (PMA) amid the scandal over his sex videos involving various women.

Despite calls to revoke Kho’s license, Santiago del Rosario, chair of the PMA committee on ethics, said they would still weigh the gravity of the accusations.

Hayden Kho took back his earlier statement that he was ready to give up his profession because of the issues hurled against him. Del Rosario said Kho even promised to engage himself in civic groups and medical mission if his license would not be revoked.

The last sentence has so many things wrong in it. First, does it mean if Hayden does not retain his license, he would not participate in civic groups and medical missions anymore? Second, why think of doing good deeds now that your reputation is in tatters and the only way I can see to salvage it is to become a martyr by offing yourself?

Mahiya ka sa Diyos at marginalized sectors. Ngayonng lublob ka sa kahihiyan ngayon mo naalala tumawag sa Diyos at tumulong sa kapwa. Damage control, anyone? Let the spin begin!

It's A Slow Week In Local Showbiz

It's a slow week in local showbiz. There is no scandal or gossip worth posting. So here I am posting about the premier night of BFF, the comedy movie starring Sharon Cuneta and Ai Ai de las Alas.

The surprise in the movie is the cameo appearance of Gabby Concepcion. Much as I love to have Gabby and Sharon in one screen shot, I prefer to wait for a full-length movie. I will be waiting for BFF on cable because P120 is too much just to see Gabby and Sharon at the end of the movie.

Ai Ai de las Alas attended the premier with Julio Chavez, who is not, I repeat, not yet Ai Ai's boyfriend, according to Ai Ai. I would have given Ai Ai the side-eye If I was at the premier. Me thinks Ai Ai is afraid to jump the gun and jinx a potential love affair, or she's not admitting the status of her relationship with her suitor (I'm using the word loosely) so it would be easy enough to explain the guy's absence once his part in the gimmick Ai Ai's life is over.

In other boring showbiz news, Willie Revillame has broken ground on his theater mall near ABS CBN. Who wants to expound on the riches and influence of Willie Revillame? Not me.

Candy Pangilinan made a tasteless joke about Igorots during her gig in Baguio City. She has apologized with matching, and I'm sure all is forgiven. She said she was tried because of all the "rackets" she's been doing. In this economy, who could blame her for accepting jobs left and right?

After her disappearing act, Jennylyn Mercado's birthday concert is still a go. Sinong namuhunan ang magka cancel ng concert kahit pa pa-diva at may attitude pa ang star of the show? Just make sure you lock Jennylyn in her room, always know her whereabouts so she will be sure to attend her own concert. She may disappear again and this time finally admit that there are voices in her head making her do all these crazy things.

Vicki Belo and Hayden Kho: Are They Back Together?

There are speculations that plastic surgeon and the poster child of bad plastic surgery Vicki and youngest son ex-boyfriend Hayden Kho are back in each others arms. They were spotted at the Manny Pacquiao-Ricky Hatton bout in Las Vegas. They even bumped into Rufa Mae Quinto, but dedmahan silang tatlo. Now, they were seen arriving separately at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, but went inside together to catch their flight to Japan.

Do we need confirmation that they are back together? Neither Vicki Belo nor Hayden Kho is talking. The media should leave them be. Cougar and prey are perfect for each other. They both get something from the other, okay? I'll leave it at that. Are you imagining what is sex like between these two? I'm thinking a pillow or a plastic bag comes in handy every time.

Anyway, I hope they finally confirm the status of their relationship so reporters can stop hounding them. I mean who cares if they are f**king again? If they could just drop into obscurity so I don't see their mugs on my TV again, it would mean two less annoying celebrities in showbiz.

Jordan Herrera Denies Having Had Gay Relationships

Jordan Herrera is denying that he had engaged in relationships of the homosexual kind. Now, you might be wondering (or not) why we are hearing so much of Jordan Herrera these days. It's because he is in that teleserye called Kambal sa Uma on ABS-CBN. There's nothing to talk about Jordan Herrera, save for the blind items linking him to this and that rich gay man (emphasis on rich).

I can hear my favorite columnist Cristy Fermin and Jojit de Niro laughing their asses off upon reading this denial. Of course I've read a lot of blind times of this hunk actor being kept by a rich gay benefactor and this hunk actor having a falling out with his rich gay benefactor. Whenever I read a blind item about a hunk actor and gay rich man, I automatically picture Jordan Herrera.

Jordan did not stop at No. In his PEP interview, he used words like "hindi ko kayang sikmurain yun." "Kaya kong tumingin sa mata ng iba at sabihin na hindi ko kayang gawin yun." "Marami akong raket at maraming artista din ang nagbibigay ng tulong sa akin katulad ni Kuya Ipe."

Hokay, Jordan Herrera never had a gay benefactor. And Boy Abunda is an anal sex virgin. Philip Salvador is helping him financially. Does Philip Salvador have a career these days? I think he has yet to pay a substantial sum for being convicted in a estafa case filed against him by a former lover. San kukuha ng pera yun? Kay Bong Revilla at Jinggoy Estrada?

Anyway, Jordan, who cares if you made patol sa bakla. This is without a doubt the most exciting issue about you. Once this dies down, what is there to talk about? And you said you can never make patol because you have a family? Dear, I hate to break it to you, but a family is not a hindrance, it is a motivation, well in the case of magutom ka vs pumatol sa bakla it is.

The latest on Jake Cuenca and His Bullet-riddled Expedition

The latest on this incident is boring. According to Jake Cuenca, he is not anymore bothered that his luxury vehicle is now useless after it was strafed with bullets by still-unidentified perpetrators. Why? Because he has been receiving so many blessings and this is what he is focusing on. Barf.

Jake also requested that Baron Geisler not be implicated because Baron is a good man. Same with ex-Roxanne Guinoo and her current boyfriend because… ewan, I succumbed to a five-second coma while watching Jake speak, but I’m sure it has something to do with them being a good couple).

As much as I want to say just nice things about Jake Cuenca, I can’t help but say “Please, just shut up and look pretty.” A ruined million-peso vehicle and a calm and collected, even benevolent owner. Does not add up. It’s like Jake Cuenca was taught about what and how to say what he said. Those PR bitches at ABS-CBN are really doing their homework. As I said, boooringgg.

Ah, basta. This is what keeps me interested in Jake Cuenca. I want to know if the gay benefactor(s) issue that has been hounding him since forever is true. If it is true, then I’d say "that’s …. not boring?"

Jake, next time just pretty will do it for me, um k?

Above is a non-boring photo of Jake Cuenca for you. If that is NSFW for you, you're in the wrong job. :P

She’s In My Face Again Because She Is Promoting Another CD

I've been seeing Gretchen Barreto's mug again on TV because she has a new CD coming out. (If you want to know the title, you won't find it here. I refuse to pander to her feelings of self-importance.)

This is actually her second album. Apparently bumenta yung una. Based on what I saw and heard on TV, the come on of this CD is not the songs (not original, they are cover songs), but what is written on the sleeve of the CD. It is a dedication from Gretchen Barreto herself. The statements are apparently controversial enough to warrant their own show.

Eh, whatthefuckever. The dedication, to me, is another manifestation of Gretchen's delusion that she is relevant, therefore the public must want to know how she feels and what's her state of mind. So, is it a waste of money to buy a CD of Gretchen Barreto cover songs? No two ways about it. This is a rhetorical question.

Anyway, heard from the rumor mill that Gretchen Barreto went to Tagbilaran Bohol for her post birthday celebration. She was followed there by her "special someone" who is apparently not Tonyboy Cojuangco. If there truly is a higher being, a picture of this lovely couple must surface soon.

P.S. I really like that solo picture of Gretchen above. So shiny and bloated in the lips, eh, Beautiful Girl?

Is Hayden Kho Back to Licking Vicki Belo's Surgically-Enhanced Mug?

Rumor is that Vicki Belo and Hayden Kho are back in each others arms. The "doktora to the stars" was quick to deny the rumor, but says that she and ex are now talking. Eh, whatthefuckever. This is news apparently. Maybe the PR bitch of Belo Medical Group thought that this news would induce people who want to have their fats suck out of them to come in droves to Belo clinics.

I'm more interested by the "behind the breakup of Vicki Belo and Hayden Kho' that I read on YES! Magazine. Apparently it was Vicki Belo who wanted her boyfriend to enter showbiz and become famous because she sees him as the true embodiment of Belo Medical Clinic. Before Vicki Belo lured Hayden Kho into her trap, he was keen on taking up further studies and to specialize in another field of medicine, not dermatology. Vicki, ikaw naman pala ang sumira sa kinabukasan ng bata.

As for Hayden Kho's wandering eyes, syempre may defensa siya dun. It all started when a patient of his died following liposuction. Banging as many girls as possible was his way of acting up, according to him. Oh, well, siguro kung doctor ka mas madaling tanggapin na namatay ang pasyente mo sa cancer, kesa naman habang tinatanggalan mo ng taba sa katawan.

Vicki Belo and Hayden Kho are also in therapy to help them deal with the breakup. Kasi kung hindi they will be back to their co-dependent ways. Si Vicki, ng isang batang boyfriend na pikitmatang sasabihan siya ng maganda siya. At si Hayden, isang older woman who will open doors for him the easy way.

Why Is This Attention Whore Still Relevant?

The latest on Gretchen Barreto is that she purchased a bus. It's a bus, not a luxury vehicle, because in her words "may krisis ngayon." Bitch, shut the fuck up. It's not a secondhand, Japanese-made bus that looks like a Fermina or King of Kings bus. It is more likely an RV, a popular vehicle for long road trips as it has all the amenities of home. Did I also mention that it's for her use alone, along with her many bodyguards and yayas? So finally, may tamang paglalagyan na ang microwave oven na dala-dala ni Greta saan man siya magpunta. Di ba Dawn Zulueta? Hay, Gretchen, you and your social-climbing ways.

I don't get why Pinoy showbiz fans continue to make Gretchen Barreto relevant. If you look up the meaning of "ang langaw kapag tumuntong sa kalabaw mas mataas pa sa kalabaw" you will see Gretchen Baretto's picture beside it.

If you still can't figure who and what is Gretchen Baretto, consider this incident that "allegedly" took place in an elevator of a posh commercial building:

Gretchen: "Can you please tell this woman to get off this elevator?"
Older woman: "Can you please tell her to get out of my building?"

And the Winner Is...

The winners of the Bb Pilipinas 2009 were announced last night during the Coronation Night at the Araneta Coliseum.

Bb Pilipinas International - Melody Gersbarch
Bb Pilipinas Universe - Pamela Bianca Manalo
Bb Pilipinas World - Mary Ann Umali
1st Runner-up Richelle Angalot (Rich Asuncion)
2nd Runner-up Regina Hahn

No, I didn't watch the live telecast. I stopped watching local beauty contests when I realized I will stop feeling like I wasted three hours of my life by just looking up the winners the following morning. There are so many commercials, dance and song numbers in these televised pageants that they extend to the wee hours of the morning. No, thank you. I'd rather watch a Korean/Taiwanese nobela or something else online.

Anyway, this current batch of beauties include a second or third timer, a daughter of a former titlist (nepotism, anyone?), a ward of the network that televised the pageant, and a former reality TV contestant. See why I feel "meh" about beauty contests? I don't wanna go into a rant about the quality of the judges in the recently concluded beauty pageant. Richard Gomez, and some basketball player. Need, I say more?

And how I can forget the Luz Valdez(es) of this year's pageant? Ladies, don't despair. Because unlike the bar exam, you can try and try even after the third time.

Who is Imeldific in the Bag Category?

Just as I don't give a flying fuck who you sleep with. I also don't give a fuck how you spend your money. There's this feature on SNN (Showbiz News Ngayon) about my favorite Ruffa Mae Quinto's P1 M bag. Then some jealous type came out with the tidbit that Sharon Cuneta owns a P3 M bag. Is this a pissing contest of imported bags? Really, it's their money and its theirs to spend.

However, some jeluz ha8ers are saying that showing this on TV is insensitive because a lot of Filipinos are starving, many are homeless and hundreds of children are malnourished (You don't say). This ostentatious display of wealth is like a slap in the face of the masa who comprises the bulk of viewers of TV programs shown on GMA 7 and ABS-CBN. Oo nga naman. But then you know, what's the use of having material possessions if you can't flaunt. I'm not saying that's appropriate, but that's the nature of the beast. If you have it, show it.

Not to be outdone, Anabelle Rama advised her daughter Ruffa Gutierrez not to flaunt her branded bags on TV because "maraming nagugutom na Pilipino. Lagi mo na lang dalhin para makita ng ibang tao." Uhm, like that's better.

Even Kris Aquino let us know that she doesn't own a bag worth a million because, according to her people, "inuna nya muna ang pamilya nya." Of course this made Kris happy because she doesn't fail to grab that chance to climb that cross and crucify herself. Eh, Kris, di ba sa mga shows mo banggit ka ng banggit ng mga gamit mo at sinasabi mo pa ang presyo. Like that time na bumili ka ng ilang piraso ng Philip Stein watches para iregalo. Magkano nga yun, sabi mo? P70,000 isang watch? It's always about you, Kris. Like my friend said, you are histrionic under the DSM Mental Health Disorder classification.

Cookie is Missing a Few Cookies

Cookie Serna, better known as Snooky, is missing a few cookies. First, she separated from her hunkalicious husband, Ricardo Cepeda. That's plain stupid. Second, she now wants to be known as simply "Kate." Dumber. Is she channeling Katie Holmes? Cookie, err, I mean Kate, says the name change is a move to disassociate herself from all the heartbreaks and misfortunes she has suffered from when she was a child star until now that she is a separated mature actress. Can please somebody tell Snooky that the only thing people associate her with is this picture of an otherwise cute child star save for an unfortunate nose. Anyhoo, I don't think people care. Is she still famous? I think she could change her name to "The Nose" and still people wouldn't care. Snooky is crying for help, and a name change would not solve her issues. Tell her to start with Albert Martinez. The day Albert left her for another woman was the day Snooky started losing her cookies.