March 16, 2009

The latest on Jake Cuenca and His Bullet-riddled Expedition


The latest on this incident is boring. According to Jake Cuenca, he is not anymore bothered that his luxury vehicle is now useless after it was strafed with bullets by still-unidentified perpetrators. Why? Because he has been receiving so many blessings and this is what he is focusing on. Barf.

Jake also requested that Baron Geisler not be implicated because Baron is a good man. Same with ex-Roxanne Guinoo and her current boyfriend because… ewan, I succumbed to a five-second coma while watching Jake speak, but I’m sure it has something to do with them being a good couple).

As much as I want to say just nice things about Jake Cuenca, I can’t help but say “Please, just shut up and look pretty.” A ruined million-peso vehicle and a calm and collected, even benevolent owner. Does not add up. It’s like Jake Cuenca was taught about what and how to say what he said. Those PR bitches at ABS-CBN are really doing their homework. As I said, boooringgg.

Ah, basta. This is what keeps me interested in Jake Cuenca. I want to know if the gay benefactor(s) issue that has been hounding him since forever is true. If it is true, then I’d say "that’s …. not boring?"

Jake, next time just pretty will do it for me, um k?

Above is a non-boring photo of Jake Cuenca for you. If that is NSFW for you, you're in the wrong job. :P

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:03 PM

    Jake is really good to look at, but when he opens his mouth? Meh

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous2:28 AM

    Is he adjusting his massive d@c* or is he stuffing a sock in there? Don't tell me it was part of the show's choreography? Tang-a naman niya for doing it in public...

    ReplyDelete