Derek Ramsey Is A Married Man?

Gabriela has found a mascot major advocate for the divorce bill--DEREK RAMSEY!

Derek Ramsey is still trying to extend his 15 minutes by refusing to categorically say YES or NO on the issue of whether he is already married.

TV Patrol showed a marriage certificate showing Derek Ramsey, 26, married Marie Christine Jolly, 21, on April 3, 2002 in Bulacan.

Derek Ramsey underestimated the zealousness of ABS-CBN in one-upping its rival networks, TV5 and GMA-7. He probably never imagined that his own studio would out him for the sake of ratings and news exclusivity. As Manny Pacquiao said, "now you know."

The personal matter, as Derek called it in his exclusive interview with Ginger Conejero, is now in the hands of his lawyers. Translation, the marriage is in the process being annulled.

Derek will be talking about the "personal matter" in the coming months, hopefully with a reporter from either GMA-7 or TV5, just to beat ABS-CBN at their own game.

Derek was accompanied by her territorial supportive girlfriend Angelica Panganiban in the interview.

I wonder if Angelica was in the know of Derek's civil status from the beginning, or she found out just as we, the public, did.

Angelica was probably still under the illusion that her bf is the country's most sought after bachelor when she was bitch fighting with Erich Gonzales, who allegedly went out on a date with Derek.

Unbeknown to Angelica she was was in the same league as Gretchen Baretto, mistress extraordinaire, when they were fighting over single, beefcake Derek. Laughable.

Lastly, I never thought Derek was in his late 20s. Bitch is 35 years old and it shows.

Andi Eigenmann Is Pregnant

After weeks of deafening silence from Andie Eigenman's camp, her mother, actress Jaclyn Jose, confirmed that indeed the star of Agua Bendita is almost 5 months pregnant.

I can't imagine this happening to Agua, but Bendita is another matter. Slut!

Jaclyn asked people not to judge, but she probably wishes the RH bill had been passed yesterday, rather than still languishing in Congress.

A blind item about a certain talented, young actress being pushed to be the next big star who is currently pregnant made the rounds of tabloids and blogs, but Andi Eigenmann never crossed my mind.

Talented and the next big star threw me off because I never associated those adjectives to Andi Eigenmann. Okay, my bad!

If we think that the confirmation of Andi Eigenmann's pregnancy is the end of it, think again. Local showbiz is still abuzz with the name of Andi's baby daddy --her first boyfriend.

The name of teen star Albie Casino is being put out there, but Albie and Andie are said to have broken up months and months before before Andi got pregnant. For you, for me, Albie is still in the running towards becoming the father of Andi's baby because the two could have engaged in a farewell fuck and created a baby.

Another candidate is Jake Ejercito, the son of Joseph Estrada and Laarni Enriquez. Jake Ejercito took to Twitter to deny he's the father, saying he's not Andi's first boyfriend. I tend to lean towards Jake as the culprit just because he's a progeny of Erap Estrada, but I think Jake entered the picture when Andi is already pregnant, so Jake has just been eliminated from the race.

I think we can build a season-long quiz show based on the premise "Who Andie Eigenmann's baby's daddy?" Albie Casino himself said he broke up with Andi because she had 10 boyfriends during their relationship. Ten bfs, one potential baby daddy eliminated per episode = 1 season. TV networks should look into that, but I am copyrighting that entire baby daddy mess concept.

Jaclyn Jose asked that her daughter be given a second chance. I'm all for that because I've liked Andi since her chubby days in Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition. Who would dare hate the first in Phil reality television to use panic attacks to get out of Big Brother's exacting ways. Innovative!

Seriously though, I hope Andi is able to reinvent herself. It's a tall order, but the alternative is being the celebrity endorser of baby diapers, baby food and infant milk.

Dumb Bitch of the Day: Pauleen Luna

Pauleen Luna should really just stick to reading idiot boards and to just shut her mouth when idiot boards are not present.

Prostitot Miley Cyrus was in Eat Bulaga! last week to promote her Manila concert. And there was
Pauleen Luna and gold-digger extraordinaire, Pia Guanio, to introduce her.

After Miley Cyrus was introduced on stage, Pauleen Luna let out this little bombshell, "Oh my god, you're so tall!!!"

Even before Miley Cyrus opened her mouth to retort "because I have big shoes," I was like "huh?!"

Miley Cyrus is 5'4" or 5'5", you DUMB BITCH!. Miley is tall to midgets.

Obviously "stream of consciousness" is not Pauleen's forte, so everything that she says on TV should be scripted.

Or next time, let Wally Bayola or Jose Manalo do the interviewing chores on Eat Bulaga! At least with Wally and Jose you are assured of a good laugh or two even if you're having a miserable day.

With Pauleen, you're in danger of doing physical harm to the TV. That's not a good idea. Not in this time of rising inflation and commodity goods.

Ricky Rivero Survives Stab Wounds

Ricky Rivero, an alum of That's Entertainment, has eight lives left after he lived to tell how he sustained multiple stab wounds from an attack by a certain Hans Ivan Ruiz.

Thank God Hans Ivan Ruiz is a stupid lazy-ass because he used a bread knife to carry out his evil deed. If not, there would have been one less member of Ninja Kids.

According to police accounts, Hans Ivan Ruiz was caught at the scene of the crime still clutching Ricky Rivero's laptop bag.

Hans Ivan Ruiz went back to Rivero's house on Masikap street V Luna, Diliman, Quezon City supposedly to clean the scene of the crime. That's when he was caught by responding barangay tanods.

Despite stab wounds to the chest and stomach, Ricky Rivero managed to drive himself to the nearest hospital. Ricky asked for help from Hans Ivan Ruiz, but Ruiz, aside from being a loser at life, also proved to be useless during emergency situations.

Despite the fact that Ricky Rivero was thisclose to meeting St Peter, he's no angry at Hans Ivan Ruiz. They've been friends a long time, says Ricky.

Um, I know time is relative but meeting the low-rent callboy on Facebook five months ago is not a long time to know a person. Look what happened. With all those stab wounds, Ricky may never take in water or any kind of fluid the same way ever again.

If Ricky is no angry at Hans Ivan, is he not pursuing criminal charges against his user-friendly "friend."

That's a same because I really would like to see Hans Ivan became a prison bitch for a change.

Ricky Rivero's ordeal should be a lesson to all the gays. Don't go to bed and sleep if you just had a heated argument with your fuck buddy over money. Huwag magpakakampante.

Jennylyn Mercado's Biological Mother Surfaces on Interview With the Buzz

If ever I've wondered why Jennylyn Mercado has a few lose screws, then my question has been answered after I heard her biological mother Jinkee's interview on The Buzz.

Jennylyn Mercado's mother agreed to be interviewed from her Dubai base to clear up allegations of her abandonment of Jennylyn that was told in the June 2011 issue of YES Magazine.

Based on that interview, Marlene Aguilar better watch out because Jennylyn's bio mom is seriously in the running for Mother of the Millennium.

This Mother of the Year nominee denied that Jennylyn's adoptive mother, Lydia Mercado, is a cousin of hers. Yeah, like it's better that you let your child be raised by someone who is not even a blood relative to you.

The mother, Jinkee, blamed Lydia Mercado for her lack of communication with her daughter. Wait, who is the bio mother here again? Last I heard, bio moms have far more rights to their child than the nanny.

And her's the clincher. Jinkee denies Jennylyn being a battered child and that she also wants to meet asshole who beat the crap out of Jennylyn.

Jennylyn's mother studio should find that asshole, if he is not with Satan already, and debunk all of Jinkee's lies and cover ups once and for all.

Jinkee was a crap mother to Jennylyn, and she should just own it. By doing so, Jinkee may just edge out Marlene Aguilar for that coveted Mother of the Millennium title.

Anger Management Classmates Dennis Trillo and John Estrada

Safe to say that actors Dennis Trillo and John Estrada have never been acquainted with the words "violence never gets you anywhere" because they let their inner cavemen get the better of them.

Dennis Trillo Ike Turner-ed ex-sweetheart Jennylyn Mercado during an argument one very late night in Dennis' condo unit. The root of their lovers' tiff was Jennylyn texting and answering a phone call from the father of her baby, Patrick Garcia, while Dennis is stewing and itching for a fight.

Jennylyn herself was short-tempered during that fight because prior to that Dennis kept on playing a video game and refusing to come to bed.

Jennylyn has a few loose screws but I have to side with her on this because what lady wouldn't get pissed when it's late at night and your honey is fingering something else. :P

Long story short, Jennylyn slapped Dennis three times (and he's got a busted eardrum to show for it), and Dennis got Jennyln on a chokehold before bodily throwing her out of his condo unit. What a fine gentleman Dennis Trillo is, isn't he?

So now Jennylyn has told all in YES Magazine and Dennis Trillo's career is poised on a cliff to oblivion.

And now John Estrada allegedly punched the floor director of Yippee Happy Yehey (whatever the exact name of that stupid noontime show is) for whatever reason. I've read several reports of this but none stated the reason why.

I guess because whatever the reason you don't throw the first punch. That's just a lawsuit waiting to happen.

I must ask, "Would Dr Marcial Cristi do this?" Dr Cristi won't, but John Estrada would just because he strikes me as an arrogant asshole.

Yep, John Estrada is scary. Even his hairline is scared and trying to escape his head.

Cue Brittany S Pearce in her blandest voice, "Stop the violence."

Jinkee Pacquiao Denies Ellen DeGeneres

Jinkee Pacquiao was invited to guest on Ellen Degeneres' show on CBS.

Oh my God! Jinkee's extreme makeover whole face and body edition has finally paid off! But no. :( Jinkee Pacquiao refused the invitation.

sigh. What a gold mine of quotable quotes that would have been.

Jinkee was fearful of blood from her nose marring her plastic fantastic mug in case Ellen DeGeneres gets high falluting on her during the interview.

Jinkee would have said yes if the interview was taped because then she could flash her millions to the show's editors and producers to edit her to hell so she comes out smelling like roses and not the dim bulb that she is.

Half a point and no more for Jinkee for self-awareness, but then again that's what you get for neglecting to improve your brain along with your waist, hips, thighs, eyes, cheeks and lips.

Read a book or two sometime, bitch!

Maybe then you'll realize none of your children looks like you anymore.

I could apply as Jinkee's minder, but no. I'll be sticking with Mommy Dionesia. At least Mommy Dionesia is taking English lessons, last I heard. Mommy D knows she has conquered the Philippines. So next stop is world domination!

Minus 100 points for Jinkee for hanging out with celebutard Paris Hilton.

From the way Jinkee talks, she thinks wonky-eye Paris Hilton is the best thing since silicon injections.

Jinkee, before your read a book as I suggested, turn on your PC and look up Paris Hilton on the interwebs.

Just in 2010, Paris Hilton was banned from entering Japan because of her cocaine possession conviction. And that's just one and the latest of her shenanigans.

Paris Hilton is so 2007. That's when her celebrity status peaked. We won't get anything from her but herpes.

Mommy Dionesia, Manny Pacquiao vs the RH Bill

It was only a few weeks ago that we saw Mommy Dionesia having interviews left and right because of her extravagant and star-studded 62nd birthday.

From media darling, Mommy Dionesia is now the callboy that wouldn't put out in the eyes of d' gays after she said her piece about the controversial RH bill.

Mommy Dionesia said about contraceptive pills:

"Tingnan mo, mga bakla, kaiinom nila ng pills, hindi bagay na inumin ng mga bakla kasi lalaki sila. Ginawa sila ng Diyos na lalaki. Umiinom talaga sila ng pills para magsilaki ang dede."

Mommy D is my personal icon and role model but, "Ang layo di ba?"

Manny Pacquiao naturally came to the defense, or non-defense, of his mother by saying:

"Sana yung mga media naman na kasamahan natin e huwag nang tanungin si Mommy D about RH bill dahil wala naman siyang alam, e. Dapat automatic na sa atin yun, sa utak natin na tayo naman nakakaintindi, may pinag-aralan tayo.”

"Mama ko yan, ma-mali man o ma-tama, mama ko pa rin yan."

This PR disaster would not have happened if yours truly were on Mommy Dionesia's side. While Manny is being a cheapskate and refusing to hire an all-around, go-to person (who is ME) for his dearly beloved mother, Mommy Dionesia is on the brink of being a pariah among peeps who once adored her.

Meanwhile, my application for the position is rapidly gathering dust as I type this.

Since Mommy Dionesia freely talks or sings, depending on the request, every time a mic and camera are shoved on her face (yes, I am still being bitter), a personal assistant cum spokesperson (ehem) is just what Mommy D needs. Why not? Mommy Dionesia is a famous celebrity in her own right, right?

Another compelling reason to hire a PA for Mommy Dionesia is to prevent her jewelries from being misplaced. Remember Mommy Dionesia's lost diamond ring that was a gift from Jinkee? The ring would have been found in my purse (it's not what you think, okay?) safe and intact if I were there. I can dig being a minder for Mommy D's expensive jewelries, bags and expensive everything.

I am willing to lower my asking salary. Just don't scrimp on the others perks. That's all I ask.

Alright, who do I need to bribe (or blow if it comes to that) to secure this position?