Aiko Melendez Sued by Ex-Boyfriend Patrick Meneses

Aiko Melendez is facing a court battle with her ex-boyfriend, Bulacan, Bulacan Mayor Patrick Meneses over libel and defamation of character.

And so Aiko Melenez and her man troubles continue. First the annulments of her marriages with actor Jomari Yllana and Chef Martin Jickain, and now this.

Aiko Melendez and the Mayor broke up on February 14, 2011 and two agreed not to speak about the reason behind the breakup to the media.

Well, psycho Aiko apparently went behind the mayor's back and plotted her revenge via twitter's direct messaging.

In a nut shell, Aiko and a gay friend colluded to spread the rumor that Mayor Patrick Meneses is gay through blind items.

Aiko Melendez, ang babaeng walang pahinga ----- sa lalaki.

It seems to me like Aiko doesn't take a rest in between relationships. In her defense, her lady parts probably get easily lonely. So, what can you do?

Since that's as far as the loneliness of Aiko's lady parts I am willing to talk about, I want to point out the wrongness of it all.

This is a diabolical plan MAJOR FAIL!

Using Twitter is like stealing and leaving a business card behind for the authorities to find you.

With Aiko and her cohort, I just can't.

Why not do the scheming over regular post? I know it would be slow but at least safer. We all know postal workers are only on the look out for money stuffed between greeting cards. If they don't find any currency there, your letter is safe.

So Mayor Patrick's first reaction upon reading the transcript of Aiko and her cohort's plan was "Nakakapangilabot."

Now why did I imagine that word being said by a convent-bred high school girl after seeing her first penis? "Nakakapangilabot" Why?!

The transcript also says that Mayor Patrick and his lover were caught by a roomboy at a resort tending to each others genital warts.

Aiko, naisip mo yun? Ewwwwww...

So which side do I believe? Hard to decide considering the source, Cristy Fermin.

Cristy Fermin, who has been convicted of estafa and libel, has a motive in bringing down Aiko Melendez. His name is Enrico Roque, the mayor of Pandi, Bulacan and the third party (allegedly) that broke up this love story.

I am assuming Enrique Roque, also the owner of Bodega ng Bayan, is one of Cristy Fermin's enveloper givers so it follows that Cristy Fermin would fight to the death to save her source of low-cost home appliances. Just like how she defends Willie Revillame who gave her a van just because.

Now Mayor Patrick and Mayor Enrico have both filed libel and defamation of character against Aiko in court.

Aiko was also declared persona non grata by Bulacan's Mayor League.

What does this entail? Does this mean Aiko can't step in Bulacan? What is the consequence if Aiko decides to go to Baguio and she has to pass through Bulacan to get there?

If there's a penalty, then Aiko can no longer get to any point in Luzon unlike a taxi, ever?

So many questions, .

I think type of punishment is no skin off Aiko's nose. I mean the mayors could have hurt her much worst if they ordered that Aiko can't date, much less marry, a person who resides in, or who has even a smidgen of connection to, Bulacan.

Let's Give a Toast to Solenn Heussaff! (hick!)

Soleen Huessaff is fighting mad over reports that she was a drunken mess during her Lenten break in Boracay that she couldn't walk under her own steam .

Solenn Heussaff is taking on one reporter who wrote about her drunken antics, but she might as well be battling the mafia that is the local entertainment press, both legit and fly-by-night.

Here's the news tidbit that so pissed off Ms Heussaff:

“Mukhang in-enjoy nang husto ni Solenn ang kanyang bakasyon sa Boracay. Unang gabi pa lang niya ay nagpakalasing na ito nang husto kasama ang mga kaibigan. Namataan siya kinabukasan ng alas singko ng umaga na nakabalik sa hotel na binibitbit na lang dahil sa sobrang kalasingan.”

Through Black Berry Messenger here's what Ms Heussaff has to say for herself. It's so long and incoherent in some cases that it reads like a drunk person letting out all the injustices that the world had dealt her infront of her drinking buddies.

So I'm breaking her ramblings to pieces for it to make sense.

I’d like an apology, I’m very offended by what he has written since what he said is false. I didn’t go to boracay to get drunk, I went to relax and have fun with my friends. Obviously easter in boracay is known for the parties, I’m not going to deny that I didn’t go out and have a few drinks. why go to boracay holy week if your planning to knit a sweater. But what he wrote is pure hallucination. I never got hom drunk like he stated or carried by men... Did go home at late hours in bora with my friends and would always swim before heading to the hotel with my girl friends.”

I love the Holy Week. Every year I look forward to reading the drunken and crazy antics of celebrities as well as feeling celebrities who go to Boracay to rest and unwind. There was this cat fight between the now defunct Sex Bomb dancers and some person who hates music. Another year there was this bloody fight between ex-lovers Alex Crisano and Ethel Booba. Boracay and Holy Week have yet to fail me.

I don't blame Solenn from partaking of the sweet nectar, never mind that it's the Holy Week.

C'mon, after being called a 'bimbo' in a French-produced documentary, who wouldn't drown their international humiliation with several glasses of alcoholic drink?

The French crew are ingrates after getting help from Solenn's French father, I agree. But Solenn and her father should have found out first what the documentary is about.

At the very least, Solenn should have asked for the title. The docu was "Stories of Gangsters, Drug Lords and Bimbos." How much more enlightening could it get? Dumbass probably assumed the docu will feature the beautiful girls of the Philippines frolicking at the beach - while their gangster and drug lord sugar daddies look on.

I don't have an issue with Solenn fighting with a reporter over an alleged false report. But to call out knitters of sweaters?

How dare you, Solenn?! Are you saying sweater knitters can't go to Boracay to knit sweaters? Sweater knitters are a dying breed as it but to kick them while their down? That's dark sided. I can only assume Solenn was kicked out of her knitting club as a child and has been plotting to take them down since then.

Gurl you're a lush so just own it. Don't drag the innocent sweater knitters into this mess.

Seriously, this issue is not a big deal. Get over it. If your not thick-skinned enough for show business, then switch to the business of knitting and knit in peace.

The Wedding of the Royals I Really Want To See

The picture of flower girl Grace above speaks for all of us (okay, just me) who are over this royal wedding before it even started.

I'm the only person I know who is not awed and excited about the royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton, I feel like. I mean what is there to be impressed about? Royals are people just like us who get drunk out of our skulls and who wear a Nazi uniform for kicks. (Ok, maybe not the last one). Think about it, royals are nothing more than people who make welfare look glamorous. That's all I'm going to say about that!

The royal wedding I am looking forward to is the wedding between two royal assholes: Hayden Kho and Vicki Belo. Rumors about a wedding between Hayden and Vicki started when famed composer David Foster's would-be trophy wife fiancee let it out that Hayden and Vicki are the next to wed.

I want these two to get married - bad. This way their grossness and pervertedness will be confined between just the two of them.

However, I have doubts about Hayden's self-confessed "stronger sense of character" after the trials and tribulations he had gone through (blech!). Hayden sooner or later will step out on Vicki, and spread his vileness to willing girls out there. Even Vicki's millions will not be able to deter Hayden, I'm afraid.

Again, however, I have faith in Vicki's cougar powers to hold on to her prey, I mean to forgive, and Hayden's powers to dickmatize Vicki all over again.

I'm ahead of you all. I'm already imaging the wedding in my head. I'm imagining the people on the guest list and I am overwhelmed by the volume of silicone and plastic in that event. There's Gretchen Barreto, Jinkie Pacquiao, Regine Velasquez, Nancy Castiglione, and The Azkals?!

The Azkals Football team?! What the?! Vicki, the cougar that she is, is expanding the number of her potential preys. She can have the Younghusbands but not goalie Neil Etheridge. Neil Etheridge is just 21 years old, for crying out loud, and most importantly 6'6" all over. Akin lamang siya, k thanks! :P

And then there's Ruffa Gutierrez, Belo's image model for the body contouring technology BodyTite. I wonder if Ruffa Gutirrez still has an epidermis left on her face. With the amount of intense chemical peeling that her mug has undergone to achieve that marble-like appearance, I really wonder.

Ruffa even asked Dr Vicki for botox for her crow's feet. I'm not surprised at Ruffa's addiction to cosmetic enhancements commitment to beauty, but I am taken aback by Vicki Belo's refusal to botox the hell out of Ruffa's face because Vicki believes Ruffa doesn't need it - yet.

Well, Vicki. Way to backtrack. You could have saved Charice Pempengco the local and international backlash from her much-publicized botox treatment a few months ago, if you had restrained your need for self-promotion.

One of Vicki's attempts at self-promotion is this show on cable called Beauty 101. One time I was flipping channels and I came across this one episode on Beauty 101 where Vicki Belo was the guinea pig for some new high-tech facial treatment.

Holy Mother! Vicki Belo sans make-up is a sight to behold. And I don't mean that in a positive way.

Vicki, makeup is your bestfriend. Don't go out without it.

If Hayden can wake up every morning and the first thing he sees is Vicki's face sans makeup and then pass the whole day still viewing himself in a positive light, then he has a much stronger intestinal, not to mention, testicular fortitude, than I give him credit for.

And if Hayden Kho can keep the dry heave down between the sheets with Vicki sans makeup, then it must be true love. I don't believe I just typed that!

Damn! Even Pilar Pilapil Is Not Safe From Carnappers

Veteran actress Pilar Pilapil (to me she is Agua and Bendita's Wowa who I wanted to backslap every time she makes Agua's life miserable) was found stabbed in the body several times after her car, a gold Kia, was carnapped.

Ms Pilar Pilapil was with a female companion, Rosel Rosalem, when two suspects approached them and commandeered their car at 9.30 pm in River Banks Marikina.

Ms Pilar was left bleeding somewhere in Antipolo and found by residents in the area.

Thank heavens Ms Pilar is now in stable condition but sadly her female companion is yet to be found.

I hope I'm wrong but I have a feeling there's more here than meets the eye. We'll find out.

Tum: My Pledge of Love Is The Bomb ... At The Box Office

Tum: My Pledge of Love, the epic love story starring real-life couple Robin Padilla and Mariel Rodriguez, was a huge FAIL at the box office.

Tum: My Pledge of Love is a story about boy meets girl, girl hates boy, and girl and boy eventually fall in love and marry.

This movie comes with a twist, though. You think Direk Robin Padilla will come up with a formulaic movie? Nah-uh. The plot is the usual but get this, the story happened in India. Innovative, right?

Ticket sales on opening day totalled P500,000 and 450,000 on second day. On the third day, the takilyera rested but on the fourth day did not bother to go to work for a day's overall take of P350,000.

I knew Tum: My Pledge of Love is going to be a major FAIL at the box office because a movie that is written, produced, starred, directed and edited by the lead star is always a fail one way or the other.

Well, with the exception of Yahoo Serious, known for the classics Young Einstein and Reckless Kelly.

I have a theory why Robin and Mariel's Tum: My Pledge of Love tanked at the box office. Robin's Muslim brothers did not bother going to the cinema to support their "bra."

Or copies, pirated ones, of Tum: My Pledge of Love are now available on Hidalgo.

Willie Revillame Goes Off the Air

Willie Revillame and his TV program, Willing Willie, are going on hiatus for two weeks.

This is to give Willie time to contemplate whether he can still go on with single-handedly saving the poor population of the Philippines.

Woe-is-me Willie Revillame has given up because fellow artistas, Aiza Seguerra, Lea Salonga and Jim Paredes to name a few, have dared speak up against not Willie himself but about the inappropriateness of the "Jan-Jan episode" of Willing Willie.

Me thinks Willie Revillame is rethinking his life's choices because several of his shows sponsors have withdrawn, at least temporarily, from airing ads on the show.

If Procter and Gamble, Jolibee's Mang Inasal, Unilever Philippines, CDO and Cebuana Lhuillier quit me, I'd also quit myself. Those ads support Willie and his staff's salaries as well as the prices given to contestants.

Willie Revillame, contrary to his sycophants' (i.e Cristy Fermin) belief, is not so selfless that he would continue with the show spending his own money to give to his poor contestants.

Because Willie got so hurt by his fellow actors speaking out against him, he lashed back at them via a 30-minute monologue on the April 8 edition of Willing Willie.

Sa mga nakisawsaw, Willie has this to say: "nakatulong na ba sila sa mahihirap?"

In Willie mind that should shut them up. It didn't occur to him that those people may not necessarily have the same opinions about certain things.

Willie has this to say about Aiza Seguerra: "Magpakalalaki ka." -- what does that even mean?

To Agot Isidro "Wala ka namang anak, alamin mo muna." Well, I know people with kids who chose to exploit their children. Hello JanJan's parents.

Willie may be a millionaire many times over but he is UNCOUTH. That is all I'm going to say about him.

When Willie resurfaces again (I'm sure he will), TV5 should hire good scriptwriters for the show. Put in writing what Willie should say, how program segments should go because nothing comes good during Willie's unscripted moments.

Notice Willing Willie is a two-hour program but almost never ends on the exact hour? That's because Willie always runs his mouth and tries to squeeze every tear-jerking moments from his contestants - all in the name of entertainment and public service - allegedly.

Chokoleit Trouble in Dubai

Chokoleit got his ass hauled off to jail in Dubai for wearing mini shorts.

This is dumbassness at its highest level. The police must have taken one good look at Chokoleit and said "Oh no, you didn't?"

Nahiya man lang sana si Chokoleit sa balat nya hinde naman flawless.

Chokoleit is stupid for not looking around and realizing that he's the only person parading in shorts with a busted face. How rude!!! Exposing locals and tourists alike to such a stomach-churning sight.

You and I know that news of Chokoleit's detention made Cristy Fermin's day, probably the whole year.

Cristy Fermin needs any good news she can have these days what with her envelope-giver Willie Revillame in hot water again.

Marlene Aguilar and Jason Ivler: Pieta - The Crazy Edition

The crazy train that is Marlene Aguilar-Pollard and her son Jason Ivler continues as Jason Ivler's murder raps go to court.

During the firs hearing in the final weeks of March, Marlene Aguilar challenged the presiding judge to a fisticuff this entitled bitch did not get what she wanted.

Mother of the millenium Marlene Aguilar-Pollard also ran her mouth about certain pieces of evidence exonerating her son Jason Ivler from the murder of former sectary Ebarle's son.

I'm curious to know the kind of mental illness keeps makes Marlene Aguilar's delusions and self-denial intact. From witness accounts, the so-called "due process" is the only thing preventing the court from throwing the book at Jason Ivler.

And what is this I hear about Jason Ivler having a fan page on Facebook? You and I know most of these so-called fans are girls. I admit Jason Ivler is goodlooking in a douchey sort of way.

But from this girl to another girl, do you really want to sleep next to Jason Ivler with one eye always open? Because you and I know, you won't wake up ever if you so much as let your guard down around Jason Ivler.

Since we are already discussing the highly esteemed Aguilar-Pollard family might I ask where the heck is Mr Pollard in all of these?

I heard from the news that Mr Pollard is in support of his wife Marlene Aguilar-Pollard's delusions. I would assume Mr Pollard is an intelligent man since he holds a prominent job (does he still with all of his wife's shenanigan?) so I am inclined to believe Mr Pollard is nothing but a pussy and is so hypnotized by Marlene Aguilar's vagina he's willing to go along wherever Marlene's delusions take him and his entire family.

And Marlene Aguilar brushing off Jason's partying with his friends inside the jail and bragging that prisoners that themselves tattooed with Jason's face?

Let Jason and friends party to their hearts content. Jason will rot in jail despite his mother's protestations and Marlene will finally go over the edge when that happens.

And FYI Marlene, Jason is being idolized by criminals! With fans like that who needs haters?

American Idol 10: Pinoy Bets - Thia Megia

American Idol 10 Top 11 results are in!

And our Pinay bet, Thia Megia, said goodbye to us. She was voted out during last night's results show along with Naima Adedapo.

During performance night, Elton John Week, Thia sang "Danielle." I liked the performance. It was soft and soothing. But Thia's understated style just got buried in a stable of divas and shriekers on this season of American Idol.

I wished Thia waited a year or two before joining. By that time, she would have fallen in love, gotten heartbroken, got angsty as is typical of teenagers. Thia would have grown into herself more and would have shown in in the way she connects with every song she sings.

Oh well, there's always Disney for our Thia.

Sadness that this would be my final blog post for American Idol 10 -- unless:

Randy Jackson finally makes sense.
Steven Tyler finally gives a helpful critique. "Beautiful" is getting tired.
Casey Abrams finally pukes blood.
Scotty McCreery finally sings a song other than a country one.
Lauren Alaina is finally reveled as actually a 45-year-old single mother of 3
Jacob Lusk finally transforms into a diva
Paul McDonald finally stops whispering during his performance. Sing, dangit!
And the rest finally ceases to be "meh"

Until then, I'm out for the entire season.