Will We Be Seeing Less of Kris Aquino?

Not because she’s in coma or something after her unfortunately fall, but because her scenes in her daily soap “Kung Tayo’s Magkakalayo” will be lessened “allegedly.”

If y’all are interested in Kris Aquino’s accident, here’s what happened. “Queen Of All Media” and “Whore for Attention” Kris Aquino was confined at the Makati Medical Center with “cerebral and labyrinthine concussion secondary to fall” after slipping in her bathroom in the early hours of Friday, Feb 19.

If any of you are worried, worry not. I’m sure Kris is fine if she was able to twit about her accident and keep updating it.

Here’s her Twitter entries:

"My gosh! Super exhaustion and my lack of balance while scrubbing my legs, I slipped in the shower. Super banged my head around 1:30 AM..." sabi sa post ni Kris.

"...So stayed up till 3 a.m. because not supposed to sleep after a bad untog! I’m still dizzy today."

"Our family doc, Dr Aye Nuguid, will check on me tonight. Still feeling dizzy. He wants to be sure I don’t have a concussion."

"Last tweet till I’m better. Forcing myself to update you all. I suffered a concussion. Cerebral and inner ear. Must’ve fallen that hard..."

Kris’last post that day: "Had CT scan. My BP shot up to 180/100. Confined next 3 nights. Good night. Will rest, promise."

Still not convinced? Kris Aquino had already spoken in her entertainment show “The Buzz” via phone patch and to every other entertainment shows, TV news programs and print media that have picked up the story.

According to Kris, she was super tired, hence the slip.

If I were that bone tired, I’d just my teeth and just go to sleep. A little dirt won’t hurt.

Apparently it didn’t occur to Kris to leave the shower for tomorrow. But if she was so concerned with dirt, she could have douse herself with Downey antibacterial fabric softener the next day and let it soak for at least 30 minutes.

Now, in unrelated news, the story line of “Kung Tayo’y Magkakalayo” will not focus so much on Kris Aquino but on Kim Chui and Gerald Anderson. I say not related news because the shift in story line has nothing to do with Kris Aquino being overexposed or Kris Aquino having permanent head damage from her accident.

The reason is that the teleserye’s ratings are going down because there are fewer and fewer viewers who can ignore Kris Aquino’s acting.

We all know Kris Aquino has the same facial expression whether the scene is happy, sad or scary – constipated. Come to think of it even her photos in print look like it’s been days – if you get my drift.

So the writers’ may be on to something there. If Kris Aquino is turning off viewers, let Kim Chui and Gerald Anderson be the focus because, you, know, the mighty Kimeralds could probably bully local audiences from tuning in again. That’s how delusional – powerful they are in their minds.

Why Can’t Y’all Just Let Richard Gomez Be Great?!

The Commission on Election has disqualified Richard Gomez as a congressional candidate in for Ormoc, Leyte, due to lack of residency.

Right! It is Richard Gomez’s wife, Lucy Torres, who is a bonafide resident of Ormoc. Her family practically owns Ormoc.

Third time is not a charm for Richard Gomez. See, this is his third attempt at running for an elective position and the third time he lost even before the actual elections.

In his first attempt, Richard Gomez ran as party-list representative for Mamamayang Ayaw sa Droga (MAD) in 2001. The party list gathered many votes but was later disqualified. I thought this was a no-brainer since I don’t think drug addicts are a marginalized sector. But apparently it was disqualified for being funded by the government.

Richard Gomez ran for senator in 2007 as an independent candidate but was unsuccessful. I didn’t know this fun fact, which is enough indication that he was a non-entity back then.

Richard Gomez being disqualified because he failed the required one-year residency in Ormoc is no surprise. Hello?! Before celebrities who are running in the coming May 2010 elections were barred from appearing on any entertainment show, we watched female contestants on Family Fued on GMA-7 make a fool of themselves over Goma five days a week. So, when did Richard have the time to go to Ormoc?

A former barangay chairman in Ormoc, Buenaventura Juntilla, filed a petition asking the Comelec to disqualify Gomez for not being a bona fide resident of Ormoc. Can we get this guy a medal for saving his home town from a potential absentee Congressman?

Richard will appeal the decision, according to his lawyers.

Uhm… Goodluck? Never say die? Try and try until you succeed?

Or better than all these clichés, ‘Get a clue, Richard! Politics hates you!”

Ara Mina’s Stupidity Continues Unabated

We may get to see Ara Mina once again appear on any TV show that welcomes her to call out the bad guys on FaceBook and YouTube who did her an injustice, “allegedly”, by basically calling her ignorant.

Video clips of Ara Mina’s Q&A of a political nature on Mo Twister’s TV program, I.M.O. (In My Opinion) are spreading like wildfire in the ‘nets. Political, not showbiz, because unless you live in a cave you’d know Ara is running for councilor in the second district of Quezon City.

Ara Mina is reacting because people who have watched it are now justified in thinking that Ara Mina should stay far away from politics. You know, just stick to talking about boys and about her sister Cristine Reyes and her boys.

Ara Mina thinks the bad guys are out to get her because, according to her, she is topping the surveys of who the people of QC think has the good chances of fucking them over.

Watching the interview made my brain hurt but with Jesus on your side you can overcome anything.

Here are the juiciest parts:

On pre-marital sex:

Am I for or against pre-marital sex? Ask me again and I will still give the same answer. Against. Bakit? Maraming kabataan na ang nakatingin sa akin ngayon, who will follow my example, who will take my answer seriously. Tama bang sabihin ko na yes, I am for pre-marital sex? Hindi. Kalat na kalat ngayon ang issue ng pagdami ng may HIV at AIDS na kabataan tapos sasagot ako na parang kino-condone ko pa?

I wonder what Polo Ravales, Jomari Yllana, Manny Pacquiao and countless other guys think about this?

On private armies:

I said “for” but sasabihin ko yung totoong nasa loob ko. Realistically po, kaya ba natin maalis ang private armies? Even dito sa bagong commission na tinatag nila, tingin mo po mawawala yung mga politiko o tao na natatakot ma-ambush o mapatay? Hindi. Alam niyo po, yung problema kasi during the interview, ang dami kong tinitimbang sa isip ko. At kahit sinong guest siguro dumadaan sa ganito. tama ba o hindi? Ok ba o hindi? Hindi ibig sabihin noon, wala akong alam o wala akong pakialam.

Ara, with that answer you’ve got the Ampatuan’s private armies’ back.


Here’s Ara’s answers in defense of her ignorance, allegedly.

"Ang problema ko lang po, hindi ako sanay sa political interviews.”
"Sana po naisip rin nila na mahirap masalang sa isang political interview lalo na att ingat na ingat ako na baka may masagasaan ako o matamaan ako."

Ara, you said yourself you are for abstinence to avoid pre-marital sex. You can always say no, you know?

"Alam niyo po, mapapansin naman sa video na nag-iisip ako, I was weighing my answers.”

Uhm, nag-iisip ka pala sa lagay na yun? The outcome was the same - ignorance at its finest.

Here’s the bottom line for me:

Ara Mina undoubtedly has bigger boobs than brain.

Mo Twister is a blathering idiot who always gets on this one-upmanship trip with his interviewes, perhaps to feel taller? Growth pills don’t work, eh.

So after hearing it from Ara, what have we got beside a bad taste in the mouth? Me? I am wishing that the dry spell the local entertainment industry is currently suffering may be final over so Mother Lily can again maker he pito-pito movies, and consequently give movie stars another thing to do and focus on.

Sam Pinto: The Kimeralds’ New Enemy

After Sharon Cuneta, Erich Gonzales and Sarah Geronimo, Kimeralds, the rabid fans of Kim Chiu and Gerald Anderson, are once again polishing their claws to victimize another female celebrity who dared attached her name to Gerald Anderson.

Sam Pinto, model and recent evictee from the Pinoy Big Brother House, has stated in her interviews that she likes Gerald Anderson. Those who care about Sam Pinto’s welfare should have told her that saying this is a red flag to Kimerald fans. With this declaration of war, she’s relatively safer in a den of lions than trolling the hallways of ABS-CBN.

Sam and Gerald are bound to meet as they work for the same network. Gerald is an ABS-CBN and Star Magic talent while Sam Pinto, following her eviction from Pinoy Big Brother, was immediately signed up to host Willie Revillame’s WoWoWee.

If there’s a kiligness factor between the two, a movie or teleserye maybe in the offing. However, if Kimeralds have their way, Sam Pinto would extra star in a love triangle with Kim and Gerald, and be killed by a runaway kariton during the first scene of the movie.

By the way, I watched Gerald and Kim visit the PBB house to promote their new movie , Pa'no Na Kaya, and I found Kim and Gerald to be likeable. Therefore, I conclude that I snark on them here so much because of their stupid fans, the so called Kimerald.

Mother of the Millenium: Marlene Aguilar

Marlene Aguilar, writer, singer, artist and mother to -- Jason Ivler, the recently captured fugitive from the law who seems to have an in-built homing signal for engaging in road/traffic incidents with government officials.

Marlene Aguilar, sister of folk singer Freddie Aguilar, is putting the blame on everybody else – from the police to the American government. Vanity, that is, Marlene’s, led the police to where her son is hiding. Picture this: big tarpaulins bearing Marlene’s likeness pinned on her house’s gate. Couldn’t Marlene have made e it a little bit difficult for the police to locate her house? I mean, at least force them ask to around the neighborhood for the Pollard’s residence.

I don’t wanna delve into Jason Ivler’s run in with the law and his psychotic events. That’s for the courts and his psychiatrist to resolve with him. I just know that Satan, as I am writing this, has already saved a very special place for Jason Ivler in hell.

Methinks mother and son has a major Oedipus complex thingy going on. According to psychoanalytic theory, the unsuccessful resolution of Oedipus complex could lead to neurosis, pedophilia or homosexuality.

Neurosis? Ding! Ding! Ding! And we have a winner! Jason Ivler is a walking advertisement for neurosis, what with his amateurish rapping skills, the creepy fixation between mother and son, and Jason's road antics that lead to killing rages.

Mother and son have been accused of being insane. According to Marlene there is a fine line between insanity and genius. So does artistry and tackiness as seen in Marlene’s images above.

You know I am writing this thinking "thank God for the anonymity of the Internet. I don't have to be looking behind my back."