Charice Pempengco in Alvin and the Chipmunks the Sqeakuel

Charice Pempengco is back after lending her voice to one of the Chipettes, the female counterparts of Alvin, Simon and Theodore in the upcoming Alvin and the Chipmunks sequel.Charice also graced the Celebrity Fight Night Performance, a tribute to Mohammad Ali. In that event, she once again impressed the audience with her powerful voice.

See this is just one reason why personally I am not angered by Chip Tsao and his comments about the Philippines/Filipinos. We know who we are as a people, as individuals. We are not defined by "how most of our Filipinas in Hong Kong make their living." To me Chip Tsao's insults do not hold water because there is Charice and other Filipinas who are making waves here and abroad.

People who make sweeping generalizations about a certain race or a group of people are fools and are stupid. Enough said. As for the apology, our government should not have demanded one. Let it come naturally. Otherwise it will not be sincere. Yes, Chip Tsao already apologized but it was clear he was not being sincere, "The ’servant’ is a sacred term. A Hong Kong government official is a civil servant. We are all servants to God, right? I’m now aware that I’ve crossed the line and I offer my public apology." Ampucha, pa-cute! (roll eyes)

Watch the clip below of Charice's performance in Celebrity Fight Night.

Chip Tsao: The War at Home

The latest person to get the ire of Filipinos is Hong Kong journalist Chip Tsao for calling the Philippines a "nation of servants" in his article "The War at Home" published in HK Magazine. So just by reading the phrase "called the Philippines a nation of servants," are you now in a state of wanting to kick a puppy due to intense rage? Before you cave in and do just that, take a chill pill and read on.


The War At Home


The Russians sank a Hong Kong freighter last month, killing the seven Chinese seamen on board. We can live with that—Lenin and Stalin were once the ideological mentors of all Chinese people. The Japanese planted a flag on Diàoyú Island. That’s no big problem—we Hong Kong Chinese love Japanese cartoons, Hello Kitty, and shopping in Shinjuku, let alone our round-the-clock obsession with karaoke.

But hold on—even the Filipinos? Manila has just claimed sovereignty over the scattered rocks in the South China Sea called the Spratly Islands, complete with a blatant threat from its congress to send gunboats to the South China Sea to defend the islands from China if necessary. This is beyond reproach. The reason: there are more than 130,000 Filipina maids working as $3,580-a-month cheap labor in Hong Kong. As a nation of servants, you don’t flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter.

As a patriotic Chinese man, the news has made my blood boil. I summoned Louisa, my domestic assistant who holds a degree in international politics from the University of Manila, hung a map on the wall, and gave her a harsh lecture. I sternly warned her that if she wants her wages increased next year, she had better tell every one of her compatriots in Statue Square on Sunday that the entirety of the Spratly Islands belongs to China.

Grimly, I told her that if war breaks out between the Philippines and China, I would have to end her employment and send her straight home, because I would not risk the crime of treason for sponsoring an enemy of the state by paying her to wash my toilet and clean my windows 16 hours a day. With that money, she would pay taxes to her government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings.

Oh yes. The government of the Philippines would certainly be wrong if they think we Chinese are prepared to swallow their insult and sit back and lose a Falkland Islands War in the Far East. They may have Barack Obama and the hawkish American military behind them, but we have a hostage in each of our homes in the Mid-Levels or higher. Some of my friends told me they have already declared a state of emergency at home. Their maids have been made to shout “China, Madam/Sir” loudly whenever they hear the word “Spratly.” They say the indoctrination is working as wonderfully as when we used to shout, “Long live Chairman Mao!” at the sight of a portrait of our Great Leader during the Cultural Revolution. I’m not sure if that’s going a bit too far, at least for the time being.

The article is a satirical take on the dispute over the Spratlys Islands between the Philippines, China and our other Southeast Asian neighbors. While reading the article I was thinking "What!? Is this guy serious?" May be he is, may be he's not. It was clear to me though that it was intended to make the reader laugh, or at the very least, giggle. It was trying to be humorous, but it was done in bad taste.

Bet he doesn't even know that his country is trying to wrest control over a group of Islands that is so far from its territory. Its only claim to sovereignty are a bunch of historical documents mentioning some islands that their ancestors passed through or lived in for some time. The Philippines is the only claimant to the Spratlys that can use "close proximity to the dispute islands" as proof of its sovereignty. We want to take this dispute in the international courts, but no country, not even the mighty China, is taking the challenge. Who is now afraid, huh?

Don't waste you energy on Chip Tsao. To me he is just a pesky, little gnat wanna-be.

Bayani Agbayani Scandal: Kuwentong Lasing

So, comedian Bayani Agbayani recently got embroiled in a minor traffic accident that was captured on video and uploaded on video-sharing site YouTube. I wasn't going to write about this news because, c'mon, ito ay kuwentong lasing. Anyway...The men who were the other party in the accident and the ones who recorded the ensuing scandal are assholes. Notice, most of them were all calm and collected, like they were all just discussing the weather, while Bayani Agbayani's gutter mouth were cussing them from head to foot. Don't you dare say you were just taking the high road. Please, bitches. you knew there was a camera and you were all being careful not to say and do the wrong thing. I wondered if Bayani Agbayani were not a celebrity these assholes would have wasted precious memory to capture the incident?

As for Bayani Agbayani, you are lame and pathetic when drunk. Iinom-inom ka tapos pag naka-aksidente, ise-settle mo.

Ang mga kwentong lasing talaga they have their share of unintentional comedies. In this instance, I LOL every time Bayani shouts "putang ina mo." Every single time he uttered those precious words I wince and then laugh. Pucha, ang lutong. Dapat isawsaw sa suka para makain. Bayani was like a typical lasing na ayaw magpaawat. But then at the 4:33-4:38 mark in the video above, his voice suddenly went soft when he learned how much damage he will pay, "6000 thousand? Mahal naman" I thought, "Finally! Self-awareness that he was being scammed by those assholes." But he went ahead and paid so the liquor still won in the end.

Shout Out!

Shout out to Pinoy Observer and Tagalog Teacher's Simple Passion for the mention. Thanks!

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I have been consulting regularly the Blog Doctor to make this blog nice and pretty. The result of my latest consultation is a little widget on the upper right hand portion of this blog titled "Subscribe." I was told that if you enter your email addy in the space provided and click on subscribe, you will automatically get email notifications for updates on this site. Convenient little fucker, i mean, widget.

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Random Sightings: Liezel Garcia from Pinoy Dream Academy Season 2

So I found out that Liezel Garcia, the third place winner of Pinoy Dream Academy Season 2, plays at the same badminton complex as I do. She was with her brother when this random sighting happened. How do I know it was her brother? It’s not because I got this information first hand. It’s because I remember it was the same guy crying on TV when Liezel was announced as one of the scholars and introduced as her brother.
Well, as a random sighting I was “meh” about it. Let’s be real. Liezel Garcia is not even an F-list celebrity. I can say though that her outfit was nice, but she was all made up. Ano itsura nya pag nagpapawis na siya sa paglalaro?

I told my friends I saw Liezel Garcia, but they were like “Sino?” and then, “Ah, ok.” I wanted to say, “Guys, show a little enthusiasm, will you?” But then I remember it’s a contestant from a reality TV show that they probably did not watch. Amongst us, I am the most likely to remember the faces of even the most obscure celebrity/public figure. I see them once on TV, I’ll remember their face if I happen to see them in public.

Yes, I have two skills that will not win me a Nobel Price anytime soon. One, a photographic memory, and two, the knack for remembering useless information.

Claudine Barreto: Earth Mother

I can't watch an entire show on local channels without seeing commercials starring Claudine Barretto. These commercials, I think, are trying to capitalize on Claudine Barretto's new role in life, that of an earth mother. I'm not looking down my nose at Claudine for doing these commercials. I mean it's one way to keep the cashing flowing in and to keep her mug in the public's eye.

I just can't get fully down on Claudine Barretto's earth mother persona. It's because I can never forget that Claudine Barretto once had a potty mouth. Click, click on the YouTube clip below.

Iwa Moto Denies She's Married, But She Is Offensive

GMA Artist talent and Starstruck finalist Iwa Moto has denied that she is now married to her non-showbiz boyfriend, who she also credits for helping her cope with the recent death of her Japanese father.
Her actual words in her interview in Chika Minute was, "Kapag nagmukha na kong losyang, 'pag nagmukha na kong nanay, 'pag nagmukha na kong may asawa, ibig sabihin may asawa na ko. Eh mukha na ba kong losyang ngayon? Nakakalabas pa nga ako."

Congratulations, you dumbfuck! (LOL) You just managed to offend millions of women, not only here but all over the world, with just a few words. What is wrong with her statement? Let us count the ways.

1. ang mga may asawa losyang na
2. may nag-iiba sa mukha ng isang babae kapag naging nanay na siya, and not in a positive way
3. there is a certain look to people na may-asawa na, and not in a good way
4. pag may asawa ka na at nalosyang ka na dahil nag-asawa ka, hindi ka na makakalabas ng bahay

HAHAHA. You know, iha, I mean, Iwa, words are very powerful. You don't just throw them out there. You have to know that every word you utter has implications. Luckily, maybe I'm the only one who caught on to what your words implied. That means you're still not relevant/famous enough for women's group to ride your coattails. Sorry. :(

One more thing, Iwa Moto also denies that she and her boyfriend are living in. "Nasa QC [Quezon City] siya, nasa Las Piñas ako. 'Pag madaling araw minsan, oo natutulog ako sa kanila, pero katabi ko mommy niya."

Ganyan din yung kapitbahay namin, nakikitulog sa bahay ng boyfriend pero katabi niya ang nanay ng boyfriend nya. Hayun, tatlo na ang anak.

Dyan Castillejo Incited Manny Pacquiao to Transfer to ABS-CBN

Apparently, it was Dyan Castillejo, a sports reporter from ABS-CBN, who goaded Manny Pacquiao into transferring to ABS-CBN. Here are the details of that fiasco that never should have happened. here and here.I read this bit of rumor from the regular column of Cristy Fermin in the tabloid, Bulgar. I like Cristy Fermin. She's got this holier-than-thou attitude; she's self-righteous; she's biased, but she doesn't know it.

Okay, moving along. According to the article, "Si Dyan and nagsulsol kay Manny para lumipat sa Dos." Hayan, mas magandang pakinggan pag tinagalog. Mas may dating ang "sulsol" keysa "goaded' and "incited."

Ok, kahit mahirap mag-type heto ang buong words. "..naglitanya si Dyan kay Manny ng kung anu-anong bentaheng magagawa ng Dos para sa boksingero kapag tumakbo ulit ito sa pulitika. Napabilog naman daw ang ulo ni Manny kaya nagsabi ito na lilipat na ulit siya sa Dos."

Uhm, isa lang tanong ko. Sino ang tanga sa istoryang ito?

You know, sometimes I even amaze myself (tongue in cheek). You know why? I hinted at this very possibility in one of my posts. Last paragraph, please.

See? What? You think I was just trying to be funny when I wrote that? I was being serious, so just shut up!

Robert Pattinson Is Afraid of Soap... and Water

Let us pause for a moment from our regular Boyet Fajardo-bashing fest to discuss this smelly piece of gossip about Robert Pattinson, star of the blockbuster Twilight. Smelly, being the operative word. Apparently, our modern vampire-hero is averse to water, soap and shampoo, which explains why he stinks to high heavens.Some source at the location of the current movie he is shooting reported that "He stinks. I mean, it's awful. He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy. He completely reeks."

Well, Robert Pattinson himself said in an interview done a while ago that he can go for weeks without washing his hair. According to him, "I have so much residue crap in my hair from years and years and years of not washing it and not having any sense of personal hygiene whatsoever."

So, this must be the reason why Robert Pattinson was heard telling a friend at the Rose Bar in New York, “I can’t get laid in NYC." Dude, maybe no girl can hold her breath long enough to have sex with you.

Stop! Is that the simultaneous wailing I am hearing from fangirls across the world upon learning that the leading man in their dreams and fantasies reek of B.O?

As for me, I am stumped. Completely stumped, I tell you. Because I thought all along that the concept of proper personal hygiene is universal. Nevertheless, aren't we glad the "smell functionality" has never been invented for televisions and movie screens?

Boyet Fajardo Sorry for Duty Free Fiesta Mall Scandal

Boyet Fajardo has apologized for his behavior towards the cashier and store manager of Duty Free Philippines Fiesta Mall during an interview over at ABS-CBN News and GMA News. Despite the apology, the employees union of Duty Free remain keen on pursuing their lawsuit against Boyet Fajardo.


My initial reaction while watching Boyet Fajardo? "ULOL!" Your livelihood is being threatened, hence the apology. Boyet Fajardo can't be sleeping well at night with all those calls for a boycott on all his products.

In the interview Boyet Fajardo said he has been judged without people knowing his side of the story. He further added that he is apologizing even if he knows that people will not believe anything he has to say in his defense. No truer words have been spoken, Boyet.

It is evident that Boyet Fajardo is trying to spin this incident by lying. Envision this: Boyet saying he did not point a finger at the cashier and juxtaposed to this was the YouTube video showing him doing exactly that. Boyet also said that Duty Free refused to honor his purchases, despite showing them his passport and MTRCB card. Uhm, Boyet, walang pirma ang passport mo at ang MTRCB card mo. Isn't this MTRCB card a movie pass? With all your millions, you need a card that will allow you to watch a movie for free? Tsipanga to the highest level!!!

In my opinion, whatever the reason was that triggered your tantrum - whether you were stoned that day, you didn't get laid that day, you felt disrespected by the cashier, you didn't feel the importance you believed was due you, YOU DON'T MAKE A PERSON BEND ON HIS KNEES AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS. Why? Because There is no acceptable excuse for dehumanizing a person.

When this scandal first hit the Internets, the question was: Who the hell is Boyet Fajardo? Maybe he is known in the RTW world, among textile suppliers and mananahis, but the general population knows didly squat about this jackass. In fairness, Boyet sikat ka na ngayon. Yes, you are being crucified left and right, but Filipinos with access to the Internet and who watch TV know who you are now, either by face, by name or both.

This is probably not the kind of fame Boyet Fajardo wanted (or imagined), but sometimes this is the price of celebrity - possible public lynching if you so much as show your face in public.

Karma is a bitch, eh Boyet? And swift, too.

Full story here.

Manny Pacquiao Settles Contract Dispute With Solar Sports and GMA

Manny Pacquiao is sticking with Solar Sports and GMA Network after all was said and done. Even before top officials of Solar Entertainment and GMA Network flew to LA to settle the dispute once and for all, Top Rank head honcho Bob Arum had already declared that Manny Pacquiao will honor his deal with Solar Sports. Bottom line, the contract does not end until 2011.

Manny has issued his mea culpas and has apologized to Solar Sports and GMA. However, there are two points that kinda bothers me about ABS-CBN's own public statement. One, it was Manny Pacquiao who approached them about broadcasting his bouts, beginning with Ricky Hatton. Two, that ABS-CNB respects Manny's decision not to go through with the transfer, even if there is already a signed contract, as they claimed.

Seems like ABS-CBN is attempting to keep its nose clean of the whole mess. No peep, not even a token fight, to make the contract signed with Manny Pacquiao stick.

However, ABS-CBN truly does not disappoint because Manny revealed that he only agreed to make the video announcing the transfer on the condition that it not be aired until he finds violations in his contract with Solar Sports. True to form, ABS-CBN aired the video on March 11, totally disregarding their promise to Manny.

Uhm, in the first place this fiasco would not have happened if Manny consulted with his team of lawyers first. I assume he has one? He doesn't even need lawyers. He should have asked Freddie Roach because he is GOD. :P

Full story here.

Survivor: Tocantins: No New Episodes, But There's a New Coupling

Bummer! No new content from Survivor: Tocantins for two Thursdays (Fridays in the Philippines). Next week will be a clip show, or scenes we have not seen before. I guess, rather than compete against American Idol on a Wednesday, the show opted to give way to the annual NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament.

I was sad to see Spencer get booted two weeks ago. Not necessarily my favorite, he just happens to be in my favorite tribe, the Jalapao. My favorite is actually JT. Since he is my favorite, I expect him not to go the distance because it has been many seasons since a favorite of mine won - Survivor: Guatemala winner Danni Boatwright.

Anyway, back to Spencer. He is dating Survivor: China winner Todd Herzog. The two started dating a month before the current season started airing. We'll see if this interseason romantic pairing lasts considering the age difference. Todd is 24 and Spencer is 19.

Above is a completely gratuitous photo of JT.

Boyet Fajardo Scandal: Who Is Boyet Fajardo?

The Boyet Fajardo scandal is buzzing on the Internets!! On March 13, 2009 at the Duty Free Phils at Fiesta Mall, Boyet Fajardo made a huge spectacle of himself by throwing a hissy fit on a poor, unsuspecting cashier whose only crime is to request identifications from Fajardo for credit card verification.

First, WHO IS THIS JACKASS? Second, when throwing a tantrum in public one must have at least name and face recognition. From what I read, Boyet Fajardo is a major brand in RTW. Not couture, RTW. Third, seriously, WHO IS THIS JACKASS?

Now, we've had all our share of little incidences in which we lost patience with a food server, security guard, cashier, etc. But most of us don't take it to the next level. This man takes the cake because he refused to be calmed down by managers and other officers of the mall. He even had the gall to demand that the cashier go down on his knees before him and ask for forgiveness. Not satisfied, he even wanted to slap the cashier on the face. Boyet, Diyos at santo lang ang niluluhuran. Tsaka ang mga lalaki ng mga bakla. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

For the sake of his job, the cashier did what Fajardo wanted. Did Fajardo let the matter rest? No. He went on and on as if a grave sin has been done to him. Seriously, who acts this way? The guy must have been on something or he has a very serious case of megalomania. What more did he want?

Fajardo threatened to call someone of power that he says he knew. Why he would do this? Classic bully behaviour. If your powers are not enough to flay your enemy, you call other bullies to do the dirty deed for you. In Fajardo's case, since he refused to ID himself, he must have thought the people around him would finally believe he is who he says he is if someone with power will do the ID-ing for him.

Boyet Fajardo, you are only great in your own mind. You are the living proof that money cannot buy class.

There's one picture of Boyet Fajardo I found on the net. I refuse to put it here, baka he suddenly gains face recognition, at the very least.

Read the whole incident from the original source.

There's even a video evidence now.

Thanks Carol

Manny Pacquiao Transfers Rights to Air His Fights to ABS-CBN

For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV

For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV

Manny Pacquiao has signed up with ABS-CBN to air his future bouts, placing a big question mark on the boxer's live contract with Solar Sports. The action means that future boxing events featuring the pound for pound King, including his coming fight with Ricky Hatton, will now be aired over at ABS-CBN after he terminated the live contract that gives Solar Sports and blocktimer (that will be GMA Network) exclusive rights to broadcast his future bouts.

Well, this is not a showbiz issue or tsismis as it involves boxing, but since Manny Pacquiao let us know that he aspires to be an actor too by producing and unleashing to the public that "flopsinang" movie that stars him and Ara Mina, I might as well write my two cents.

Eh, I really don't care because: a) I don't watch Manny Pacquiao's fights from start to finish. It would really make me happy if everyday is a Manny Pacquiao boxing event because then there would be less vehicles and people on the streets; b) the Pacquiao-Hatton bout will happen no matter what. If Solar Sports is successful in its TRO against ABS-CBN, there is always the Internets and pay-per-view on cable. Sucks to those who watch on local TV or in stadiums across the country.

This is not the first time that Manny signed a new contract while under an old contract that is still in effect. Remember Golden Boy Promotions vs Top Rank? In the end Top Rank won, and Manny was forced to return the $500,000 advance from Golden Boy Promotions.

Seems like it is happening again. This time involving ABS-CBN. Bakit pag ang issue agawan ng talent laging sangkot ang ABS-CBN? From the report above, it seems like something in the milk ain't clean. For starters, ABS-CBN offered Manny "things" that would benefit him when he retires, i.e when he runs in the 2010 elections.

Baka naman napa-oo na lang si Manny dahil ABS-CBN unleashed Dyan Castillejo on him again. For those not in the know, ABS-CBN's lady sports reporter is Manny's shadow wherever he goes, especially during his fights abroad. There was reportedly this one time that she was able to interview Manny for three straight hours, when all other media outlets only got a few minutes with the boxer.

RIP Natasha Richardson (1963-2009)

Tony-award winning actress Natasha Richardson died at the age of 45 due to severe brain injury sustained from a seemingly innocuous fall while taking private ski lessons at a luxury ski resort in Quebec, Canada. Richardson was said to have been fine after the fall, even laughing and joking about the incident. An hour later, she was rushed to the hospital after complaining of not feeling well.

She was survived by husband, actor Liam Neeson, and two sons. Natasha Richardson comes from acting royalty. The daughter of Vanessa Redgrave and director Tony Richardson. She is the sister of Joely Richardson, best known for her role in Nip/Tuck. She also has various uncles and aunts in the acting business.

Richardson has a long list of acting credits, both on film and on stage, to her name. I liked her quite a lot in the remake of The Parent Trap, where she starred with Dennis Quaid and the pre-teen, and not yet-annoying Lindsay Lohan.

The Drooping Nose of Katrina Halili

As if the “laos” issue is not enough, Katrina Halili’s nose is reportedly is trying to get away from here face. No, the word is actually “tabingi,” or getting there. For sure it is because the nose has been missing its regular check-ups. Of course, you know Katrina has been dropped as a celebrity endorser of the Belo Medical Clinic because of her involvement in the Hayden Kho-Vicki Belo brouhaha.

Katrina is now after an endorsement contract from Doc Manny Calayan. These celebrities are really cheapskates. They earn my entire year’s worth of salary in just one day of shooting or photoshoot, and yet they want these freebies that they are entitled to as celebrity endorsers. But, hey in Katrina’s case maybe the cost of upkeep is expensive because aside from the nose, there is the boobs, ass, tummy, etc. that need constant monitoring.

As for the “laos” issue, Katrina has been laying low and has not been getting projects like before. In short, humina ang kinang ng kanyang bituin dahil ayaw ng mga Pilipino sa kabit. I’m rolling my eyes at this because Filipinos are really such contradictory creatures. We want our showbiz stars to be perfect, one-dimensional, but we elect people who are known womanizers, child rapists and corrupt to hold important government positions.

As for Hayden, I’ve never been impressed physically or otherwise, especially when I read that when he was being asked to be interviewed about his breakup with Vicki Belo, he wanted to come out on TV singing “Too Young” by Jack Wagner. Thank God, saner minds interfered (i.e Lolit Solis) and nixed the idea.

Some of the lyrics go this way:

Except I love that girl so much
But I didn't show it
Started spreading myself too thin
Fool around thought she didn't know it
Such childish games I played I fooled her with my touch
Time has taught me so much
I'm grown enough to say

I was too young but that's no excuse
I had too much too soon I wanted more room
To please my restless youth
Now all this peace
I can't feel your bliss
You treated me so kind, you were all mine
But I just walk away


PLEASE, GET ME A BARF BAG, STAT!

Jomari Ylanna Breaks His Silence On Breakup With Pops Fernandez

I've been meaning to write about the termination of Pops Fernandez and Jomari Yllana's four-year relationship, but I couldn't write anything juicy about it. Pops and Jomari is the most boringest couple that ever coupled in local showbiz.

Want to know who I think is the most exciting couple in this great country of ours? First Gentleman Mike Arroyo and President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. Why, I consider them the Bonnie & Clyde of this generation.

Anyway, Jomari finally spoke out, not about the reason for the breakup, but to address Martin Nievera. Them are fighting words, huh Jomari? Basically what he said was: "Martin, huwag ka na makisawsaw sa problema namin. I was not the reason your marriage with Pops ended. You lost Pops because of your immaturity, blah, blah, blah." Martin's reply: "Fine." Boooooh!

Clueless daw before si Pops why Jomari suddenly stopped all communications with her. Pops, there is a certain word that fits you. You know what the reason is. Siguro nahihiya ka pang tanggapin na yun ang dahilan.

To end, mag-ala Boy Abunda tayo. Ano ang natutunan natin sa kwentong ito? Huwag kayong mag-gamitan if you have a relationship outside of business.

The latest on Jake Cuenca and His Bullet-riddled Expedition

The latest on this incident is boring. According to Jake Cuenca, he is not anymore bothered that his luxury vehicle is now useless after it was strafed with bullets by still-unidentified perpetrators. Why? Because he has been receiving so many blessings and this is what he is focusing on. Barf.

Jake also requested that Baron Geisler not be implicated because Baron is a good man. Same with ex-Roxanne Guinoo and her current boyfriend because… ewan, I succumbed to a five-second coma while watching Jake speak, but I’m sure it has something to do with them being a good couple).

As much as I want to say just nice things about Jake Cuenca, I can’t help but say “Please, just shut up and look pretty.” A ruined million-peso vehicle and a calm and collected, even benevolent owner. Does not add up. It’s like Jake Cuenca was taught about what and how to say what he said. Those PR bitches at ABS-CBN are really doing their homework. As I said, boooringgg.

Ah, basta. This is what keeps me interested in Jake Cuenca. I want to know if the gay benefactor(s) issue that has been hounding him since forever is true. If it is true, then I’d say "that’s …. not boring?"

Jake, next time just pretty will do it for me, um k?

Above is a non-boring photo of Jake Cuenca for you. If that is NSFW for you, you're in the wrong job. :P

She’s In My Face Again Because She Is Promoting Another CD

I've been seeing Gretchen Barreto's mug again on TV because she has a new CD coming out. (If you want to know the title, you won't find it here. I refuse to pander to her feelings of self-importance.)

This is actually her second album. Apparently bumenta yung una. Based on what I saw and heard on TV, the come on of this CD is not the songs (not original, they are cover songs), but what is written on the sleeve of the CD. It is a dedication from Gretchen Barreto herself. The statements are apparently controversial enough to warrant their own show.

Eh, whatthefuckever. The dedication, to me, is another manifestation of Gretchen's delusion that she is relevant, therefore the public must want to know how she feels and what's her state of mind. So, is it a waste of money to buy a CD of Gretchen Barreto cover songs? No two ways about it. This is a rhetorical question.

Anyway, heard from the rumor mill that Gretchen Barreto went to Tagbilaran Bohol for her post birthday celebration. She was followed there by her "special someone" who is apparently not Tonyboy Cojuangco. If there truly is a higher being, a picture of this lovely couple must surface soon.

P.S. I really like that solo picture of Gretchen above. So shiny and bloated in the lips, eh, Beautiful Girl?

Is Dingdong Dantes Hollywood and Politics Bound?

The answer is Yes to one and No to the other. From Dingdong on the Chika Minute segment of 24 Oras, Dingdong confirmed that he is doing a movie with a Hollywood actress.

Eh, whatever. I will remain skeptical and unimpressed until I find out for sure that the leading lady is not that skank Paris Hilton, or a D-list celebrity, or a reality TV star.

As for politics, Dingdong said he has been approached to run in the 2010 elections, but he is adamant about joining politics. Good for you, Dingdong. Hindi matutulungan ng kagwapuhan mo ang paghihirap ng mga Pilipino. Matutuwa, oo.

Is Hayden Kho Back to Licking Vicki Belo's Surgically-Enhanced Mug?

Rumor is that Vicki Belo and Hayden Kho are back in each others arms. The "doktora to the stars" was quick to deny the rumor, but says that she and ex are now talking. Eh, whatthefuckever. This is news apparently. Maybe the PR bitch of Belo Medical Group thought that this news would induce people who want to have their fats suck out of them to come in droves to Belo clinics.

I'm more interested by the "behind the breakup of Vicki Belo and Hayden Kho' that I read on YES! Magazine. Apparently it was Vicki Belo who wanted her boyfriend to enter showbiz and become famous because she sees him as the true embodiment of Belo Medical Clinic. Before Vicki Belo lured Hayden Kho into her trap, he was keen on taking up further studies and to specialize in another field of medicine, not dermatology. Vicki, ikaw naman pala ang sumira sa kinabukasan ng bata.

As for Hayden Kho's wandering eyes, syempre may defensa siya dun. It all started when a patient of his died following liposuction. Banging as many girls as possible was his way of acting up, according to him. Oh, well, siguro kung doctor ka mas madaling tanggapin na namatay ang pasyente mo sa cancer, kesa naman habang tinatanggalan mo ng taba sa katawan.

Vicki Belo and Hayden Kho are also in therapy to help them deal with the breakup. Kasi kung hindi they will be back to their co-dependent ways. Si Vicki, ng isang batang boyfriend na pikitmatang sasabihan siya ng maganda siya. At si Hayden, isang older woman who will open doors for him the easy way.

Cage Fight: Vicki Belo vs Boy Abunda

In her interview in Showbiz Central, Dr Vicki Belo said "If you want to look like Dingdong and Piolo, go to Belo. If you want to look like Boy Abunda, go to Calayan (her rival cosmetic services clinic)."

Of course, in this ultra sensitive society of ours, that kind of statement will not go unnoticed, even if it was not meant to offend or slight. Well, it wasn't just a matter of fact statement. Syempre, Dingdong and Piolo are hotties. Si Boy Abunda, umh, ahh, much sought after TV host?

Anyway, Boy Abunda's response? Announce he's hurt by the statement, with matching crying in front of the cameras. Syempre, forget ba ni Boy Abunda magpaka intellectual? He forgives Vicki Belo, BUT he added that we must not forget to learn a very important life lesson from the incident. Ok, I know. "Don't say negative things about a person in that person's face. Always remember that you were raised right, so we must only say bad things behind a person's back."

My response? Doktora, excuse your beauty. You are not exactly the standard by which beauty should be measured. That goes to you as well, Pie Calayan. Natural plastic surgery, Vicki Belo ain't it.

Eric Sanchez Jerk Off Pictures Are Real

Eric Sanchez, runner up in the Amazing Race 7 and winner in the Amazing Race All-Stars, confirmed that photos of a man jerking off infront of a web cam are of him. None of the photos included his face or his famous nipple rings, but Sanchez confirmed that the photos are real.

Sanchez said he did a jerk session with some girl online who allegedly took still photos. See Eric jerking off on web cam. Site and images are of course NFSW.

Eric has always been semi-hot to me until he opens his mouth. The photos are definitely worth seeing, but do it in the privacy of your home.

Why Is This Attention Whore Still Relevant?

The latest on Gretchen Barreto is that she purchased a bus. It's a bus, not a luxury vehicle, because in her words "may krisis ngayon." Bitch, shut the fuck up. It's not a secondhand, Japanese-made bus that looks like a Fermina or King of Kings bus. It is more likely an RV, a popular vehicle for long road trips as it has all the amenities of home. Did I also mention that it's for her use alone, along with her many bodyguards and yayas? So finally, may tamang paglalagyan na ang microwave oven na dala-dala ni Greta saan man siya magpunta. Di ba Dawn Zulueta? Hay, Gretchen, you and your social-climbing ways.

I don't get why Pinoy showbiz fans continue to make Gretchen Barreto relevant. If you look up the meaning of "ang langaw kapag tumuntong sa kalabaw mas mataas pa sa kalabaw" you will see Gretchen Baretto's picture beside it.

If you still can't figure who and what is Gretchen Baretto, consider this incident that "allegedly" took place in an elevator of a posh commercial building:

Gretchen: "Can you please tell this woman to get off this elevator?"
Older woman: "Can you please tell her to get out of my building?"

And the Winner Is...

The winners of the Bb Pilipinas 2009 were announced last night during the Coronation Night at the Araneta Coliseum.

Bb Pilipinas International - Melody Gersbarch
Bb Pilipinas Universe - Pamela Bianca Manalo
Bb Pilipinas World - Mary Ann Umali
1st Runner-up Richelle Angalot (Rich Asuncion)
2nd Runner-up Regina Hahn

No, I didn't watch the live telecast. I stopped watching local beauty contests when I realized I will stop feeling like I wasted three hours of my life by just looking up the winners the following morning. There are so many commercials, dance and song numbers in these televised pageants that they extend to the wee hours of the morning. No, thank you. I'd rather watch a Korean/Taiwanese nobela or something else online.

Anyway, this current batch of beauties include a second or third timer, a daughter of a former titlist (nepotism, anyone?), a ward of the network that televised the pageant, and a former reality TV contestant. See why I feel "meh" about beauty contests? I don't wanna go into a rant about the quality of the judges in the recently concluded beauty pageant. Richard Gomez, and some basketball player. Need, I say more?

And how I can forget the Luz Valdez(es) of this year's pageant? Ladies, don't despair. Because unlike the bar exam, you can try and try even after the third time.

RIP Francis M. (1964-2009)

Rapper/actor/TV host Francis M died today, Mar 6, at noon after a battle with leukemia. He was diagnosed with leukemia on Aug 2008, and was undergoing chemotherapy. He was supposed to appear in the reunion concert of the Eraserheads. With his death, the final set of the E-heads concert will be a tribute to the master rapper. His remains will be cremated on Mar 11.

Sadness. RIP Francis.

Who is Imeldific in the Bag Category?

Just as I don't give a flying fuck who you sleep with. I also don't give a fuck how you spend your money. There's this feature on SNN (Showbiz News Ngayon) about my favorite Ruffa Mae Quinto's P1 M bag. Then some jealous type came out with the tidbit that Sharon Cuneta owns a P3 M bag. Is this a pissing contest of imported bags? Really, it's their money and its theirs to spend.

However, some jeluz ha8ers are saying that showing this on TV is insensitive because a lot of Filipinos are starving, many are homeless and hundreds of children are malnourished (You don't say). This ostentatious display of wealth is like a slap in the face of the masa who comprises the bulk of viewers of TV programs shown on GMA 7 and ABS-CBN. Oo nga naman. But then you know, what's the use of having material possessions if you can't flaunt. I'm not saying that's appropriate, but that's the nature of the beast. If you have it, show it.

Not to be outdone, Anabelle Rama advised her daughter Ruffa Gutierrez not to flaunt her branded bags on TV because "maraming nagugutom na Pilipino. Lagi mo na lang dalhin para makita ng ibang tao." Uhm, like that's better.

Even Kris Aquino let us know that she doesn't own a bag worth a million because, according to her people, "inuna nya muna ang pamilya nya." Of course this made Kris happy because she doesn't fail to grab that chance to climb that cross and crucify herself. Eh, Kris, di ba sa mga shows mo banggit ka ng banggit ng mga gamit mo at sinasabi mo pa ang presyo. Like that time na bumili ka ng ilang piraso ng Philip Stein watches para iregalo. Magkano nga yun, sabi mo? P70,000 isang watch? It's always about you, Kris. Like my friend said, you are histrionic under the DSM Mental Health Disorder classification.

Kris Aquino Cries Again and It Is Over Some Prisoners

Oh, Kris you still can't cry like a good actress. I watched a snippet of Kris Aquino on her TV show, SNN (Showbiz News Ngayon), discussing how she feels about the recent release from prison of the soldiers involved in her dad Ninoy Aquino's assassination in Aug 1983. All I heard her say was "blah, blah this, blah blah that." Okay, I got the gist. She's really sad that the prisoners were released because an injustice was done to the Aquino family! Really, I had to change channels immediately because I was getting uncomfortable watching her emote. I switched channel before I figured out if Kris Aquino was attempting to cry and not succeeding, or she's just really constipated.

On a serious note, can the Aquino family please come down from the cross because a lot of people could really use the wood during these tough times? Seriously, they are known as devout Catholics, especially their matriarch Cory Aquino. Isn't one of the teachings of Catholicism "forgive those who have trespassed against you?" ( If it is not, please forgive). So, how come they cannot forgive the soldiers who have been languishing in prison for more than 20 years? Is it because mga Ilustrado sila, and they do not think that this teaching applies in their situation because "they have suffered so much?"

Personally, I believed those soldiers are victims too because they did not act without the orders of Somebody, whom the Aquino family should really hate and curse to high heavens.

Ruffa Mae Quinto Cries and I Laugh

Okay, I know I am going to hell for this, but Rufa Mae Quinto must be an effective comedianne because I snort, even laugh, when I see her on TV bawling her eyes out over some controversy she's involved in. Obviously, the issues are serious enough to warrant tears from the girl, but I just can't empathize or even be sad with her. Last year, she was involved in a catfight with Jessa Zaragosa over, who else, Dingdong Avanzado, Rufa's ex and Jessa's husband. Early this year, she was, allegedly, involved in the break up of "doctora to the stars" Vicki Belo and her younger son, err, young lover, Hayden Kho. They also have a sex video to boot. I can't focus on her tears or the sadness on her face whenever she was being interviewed because I am busy hanging on to her words, or lack thereof. You see, I noticed, true to her being Bobita, that she can't quite finish her sentences. For example "No, Dingdong did not find me ano, please naman. Or "Basta ganun, eh." Or Para namang, di ba?" OMG! You don't find that even slightly funny? It's just me? Ok, I am on that bus going to hell.

Who Is Raymond Gutierrez Kissing?

My first reaction? LOL and a big WTF?! Wouldn't you? GMA network host Raymond Gutierrez caught kissing ABS-CBN teen star Carla Humphreys at a Celebrity Water Sports Challenge in Camarines Sur. Isn't it common knowledge (maybe except for the Gutierrez family who I am sure remains in denial) that the other Gutierrez twin bats for the other team? Oh, well this is show business.

Many teen actors and matinee idols have chosen to enter that closet and locked that shit down tight in order to preserve their image among their adoring and shrieking fans and keep those projects coming.

Stay Far Away from Paris Hilton, Charice

So, Paris Hilton bumped into our very own singing sensation Charice Pempengco at an Oscars after-party and requested "via her personal assistant" to have her picture taken with Charice. Paris Hilton apparently saw Charice at an event and on Oprah. I thought my hate for this vapid, waste-of-oxygen would lessen. Let's face it, she likes our Charice. But she went and said she wants to take Charice home with her because she looks like a doll. Just by this simple statement, my hate re-emerged because this bitch is known for collecting animals and allegedly not taking good care of them. With that said, is it flattering to be taken home by Paris Hilton and be left unattended and uncared for just like her pets?

Rustom Padilla is now BB Gandanghari

On principle, I really don't have an issue with Rustom Padilla being "reborn" as BB Gandanghari. I believe in being true to oneself, and living life as they see fit. But if you followed Rustom Padilla's career as a action star/matinee idol in 1990s, there is a certain "icky" feeling from suddenly seeing him/her in the persona of BB Gandanghari. Okay, "icky" is too strong a word, but probably not as strong as what Carmina Villaroel is feeling, not to mention the entire Padilla clan.

I just can't reconcile Rustom Padilla/BB Gandanghari. This is especially apparent when I saw her photo spread in YES! Magazine. She was all decked out in beautiful clothes, perfect makeup and flattering hairstyle. But all I could see is Rustom Padilla in drag. She's all angular and sharp features, and she doesn't yet have that refined, feminine look that all born females have. Well, maybe in time people will forget who Rustom Padilla is and BB Gandanghari can finally lay him to rest for good.

For Those Who are In Doubt

Well, I was never in doubt over whether Adam Lambert, one of the top 26 on Season 8 of American Idol, likes the peen or not. Vote for the Worst has more pictures of Adam being his "happy" self.

Ugly Beautiful

This is one pussy that would definitely haunt all our dreams. But seriously, look how beatiful it is in a strange sort of way. It is like what Tyra Banks likes to call "Ugly Beautiful."

Anabelle Rama on the Warpath Again

Manager/stagemother Anabelle Rama is at odds with an executive of the network that employs most of her wards. So what else is new? Normally, I wouldn't even blink an eye on this, but this time she has gone too far. Why you ask? Because it involves the cutie pie that is JC de Vera, or Facundo of La Lola fame. Heart Evangelista is also involved, but who really cares what happens to her career, right? In fairness, though, I watch Luna Mystika, probably because Mark Anthony Fernandez is there. Ok now, back to JC. Anabelle has threatened to pull out all her wards from the Kapuso network. She's probably thinking there is ABS-CBN to give jobs to her alagas. But for the love of all that is holy. There are already so many talents at the Kapamilya network. What happens to JC after the supposed teleserye project with Judy Ann Santos? Pwede ba napa gwapo ni JC para malaos!