Gwendoline Ruais is Ms World 2011 First Runner Up

Apparently it's still beauty contest season and I was unaware of it. Woke up this morning to the TV blasting the Ms World 2011 awards ceremony. There was also the Ms International tilt happening simultaneously.

French Pinay beauty Gwendoline Ruais placed first runner-up in the 2011 Ms World Beauty Contest held in the UK. She looks like a tranny, but she won so that's that!

Surprise! Suprise! (not!) Ms Venezuela won the crown. Not impressed.

Venezuelan beauty bets are known to undergo "Olympic-style" training prior to competing in these beauty pageants. Everything that can be fixed on these Venezuelan bets are fixed, including a flawed nose, flat chest or non-existent chin, but they can't or won't speak in English like the rest of the non-English speaking contestants. I suspect it's not the substance of their answers in the Q&A but the beauty of the Spanish language that win judges. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

Anyway, I am so glad another Pinay beauty almost won in another international beauty contest. Not because I buy into the "beauty with a purpose" thing. It's because of two things:

First, winning first runner up means the media can finally shut their cameras and voice recorders on the overrated Shamcey Supsup, 3rd runner-up in the 2011 Ms Universe contest. Just shut it already. Jon Santos' impersonation of Shamcey Supsup is more interesting than any sound bite coming from the real thing. Sad, but it's time to pack up.

Second, first runner-up in the Ms World contest is equal to First Princess. This will, I hope, shut up everyone who continues to use the tag "second princess" on Ruffa Gutierrez. Please, the bitch is a has-been and her time was over a decade ago. Ruffa Gutierrez is so early 1990s.

Now, I suspect I'd get tired of Ms Gwendoline Ruais First Runner up 2011 Ms World sooner or later. The fawning from the reporters and photographers, blech! Beauty titlists are not the next coming of Christ!

And how about Diane Necio? Poor girl, or is it Poor, thank you girl? Her backer at the Ms International tilt is not as doggone persistent (or is it annoying?) as Cory Quirino of the Ms World Philippines org.

All Diane Necio won was some kind of People's Choice Awards through online voting. Well, at least she won something. Try again next time like Abby Cruz, a perennial Luz Valdez in local beauty contests. I almost feel sorry for Diane Necio, but she'll be an artista anyway. You can bet on it.

The Wedding of the Royals I Really Want To See

The picture of flower girl Grace above speaks for all of us (okay, just me) who are over this royal wedding before it even started.

I'm the only person I know who is not awed and excited about the royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton, I feel like. I mean what is there to be impressed about? Royals are people just like us who get drunk out of our skulls and who wear a Nazi uniform for kicks. (Ok, maybe not the last one). Think about it, royals are nothing more than people who make welfare look glamorous. That's all I'm going to say about that!

The royal wedding I am looking forward to is the wedding between two royal assholes: Hayden Kho and Vicki Belo. Rumors about a wedding between Hayden and Vicki started when famed composer David Foster's would-be trophy wife fiancee let it out that Hayden and Vicki are the next to wed.

I want these two to get married - bad. This way their grossness and pervertedness will be confined between just the two of them.

However, I have doubts about Hayden's self-confessed "stronger sense of character" after the trials and tribulations he had gone through (blech!). Hayden sooner or later will step out on Vicki, and spread his vileness to willing girls out there. Even Vicki's millions will not be able to deter Hayden, I'm afraid.

Again, however, I have faith in Vicki's cougar powers to hold on to her prey, I mean to forgive, and Hayden's powers to dickmatize Vicki all over again.

I'm ahead of you all. I'm already imaging the wedding in my head. I'm imagining the people on the guest list and I am overwhelmed by the volume of silicone and plastic in that event. There's Gretchen Barreto, Jinkie Pacquiao, Regine Velasquez, Nancy Castiglione, and The Azkals?!

The Azkals Football team?! What the?! Vicki, the cougar that she is, is expanding the number of her potential preys. She can have the Younghusbands but not goalie Neil Etheridge. Neil Etheridge is just 21 years old, for crying out loud, and most importantly 6'6" all over. Akin lamang siya, k thanks! :P

And then there's Ruffa Gutierrez, Belo's image model for the body contouring technology BodyTite. I wonder if Ruffa Gutirrez still has an epidermis left on her face. With the amount of intense chemical peeling that her mug has undergone to achieve that marble-like appearance, I really wonder.

Ruffa even asked Dr Vicki for botox for her crow's feet. I'm not surprised at Ruffa's addiction to cosmetic enhancements commitment to beauty, but I am taken aback by Vicki Belo's refusal to botox the hell out of Ruffa's face because Vicki believes Ruffa doesn't need it - yet.

Well, Vicki. Way to backtrack. You could have saved Charice Pempengco the local and international backlash from her much-publicized botox treatment a few months ago, if you had restrained your need for self-promotion.

One of Vicki's attempts at self-promotion is this show on cable called Beauty 101. One time I was flipping channels and I came across this one episode on Beauty 101 where Vicki Belo was the guinea pig for some new high-tech facial treatment.

Holy Mother! Vicki Belo sans make-up is a sight to behold. And I don't mean that in a positive way.

Vicki, makeup is your bestfriend. Don't go out without it.

If Hayden can wake up every morning and the first thing he sees is Vicki's face sans makeup and then pass the whole day still viewing himself in a positive light, then he has a much stronger intestinal, not to mention, testicular fortitude, than I give him credit for.

And if Hayden Kho can keep the dry heave down between the sheets with Vicki sans makeup, then it must be true love. I don't believe I just typed that!

Imagine This

Somewhere in Turkey, a groom accidentally killed three relatives at his wedding when he fired into the air with an assault rifle in celebration.

Eight other people were wounded at the incident at the village of Akcagoze in the South Eastern province of Gaziantep.

The groom lost control of an AK-47 rifle and accidentally raked the guests with bullets.

His father and two of his aunts died in hospital.

Suffice to say, the groom is not enjoying his honeymoon.

Turks are notorious for breaking out into gunshots to celebrate weddings and sports victories, a practice that has caused many deaths and which authorities have so far failed to curb.

I automatically think of Ylmaz Bektas when I hear "Turkey" mentioned. It's really a testament to how far I've come that I don't associate turkey with poultry anymore. :p

Anyway, imagine the Turkish wedding of Ylmaz Bektas and Ruffa Gutierrez. Ylmaz, so proud that he's snared the heart of a Ms World Second Princess and a toast of Brunei, suddenly fired shots into the air out of shear joy.

Imagine, Ylmaz suddenly losing control of the gun.

Imagine, Anabelle Rama as one of the guests closest to the action.

The outcome of that fantasy depends on whether you're a fan or just a jeluz h8tr.

Yup, I'm on that bus going to hell.

Leave Kris Aquino Alone!

Kris Aquino's cry fest in last Sunday's (Mar 14) The Buzz was laaame.

The crying started after the airing of Ruffa Gutierrez farewell video. Of course, we all know the whole story about Kris Aquino's tactlessness, Ruffa's abrupt exit from their TV show The Buzz and Anabelle Rama's subsequent verbal diarrhea.

Who believes Anabelle Rama? Who does she influence? The handful of showbiz reporters in her pocket? If you are an intelligent voter, you will not based your vote on an issue as major as the Philippine presidency on a person's incoherent tirade and who keeps a secret voodoo room in her mansion. Bottom line: Did Anabelle Rama or any of her children finished college? I'm not being a snob. I'm just saying.

As for Kris, I was LMAO watching her crying jag. It's mean, I know, but every time she pouts or grimace I imagine her trying to pass has, a very big one, and she's not succeeding.

We've heard and read all there is to hear and read about Kris Aquino and the scandals she got involved with over the years. The Ruffa-Anabelle vs Kris Aquino is just a lint, an insignificant one at that. It doesn't warrant Kris leaving The Buzz for good (and leaving Boy Abunda? OMG)

OMG! Was the crying necessary as well as the threat to take a leave of absence? A fight with Ruffa Gutierrez is nothing. How many scandals and controversies has Kris Aquino got involved in? I would have taken a leave of absence from life if it got out that I had contracted a sexually transmitted disease from a man who is not my husband and who himself is married to someone else.

So suck it up, you attention whore!

Ruffa Gutierrez Changes Facebook Status from Single to It’s Complicated

It’s a veerrry slow day in local showbiz when something as mundane as a celebrity’s status on a social networking site is breaking news.

I guess it is really complicated if you are Ruffa Gutierrez.

She is not divorced from the indiscretion of her youth, her first husband who her mom called PG (patay gutom). She’s a second princess so she had a second husband. Is her second marriage null since technically she was still married when she married her second? If not, isn’t that called bigamy? Then, there’s John Lloyd Cruz, whom she played tourist guide for when they were (conveniently) at the same area at the same time.

There's one or two paparazzi shots of Ruffa Gutierrez and John Lloyd Cruz walking into a hotel and shopping floating around the Internets.

I don’t know what the big deal is with the Ruffa-John Lloyd romance. Her mommyger Anabelle Rama was initially against, even making a big fuss about on national TV. Since then, Anabelle has made a fast 360, faster than I can say “gimmick.”

Ano ba masama? John Lloyd is obviously on the rebound after breaking up with his stylist girlfriend and after getting shut down by Sarah Geronimo’s stage mother. Si Ruffa nagdadalaga for the second time and is available. The stars where aligned for them, so let them be.

It’s not Ruffa’s lovelife I’m interested in. Rather, I’m on a Ruffa cheeks and lips watch. I really love the Chipmunks movie, but I don’t know how I feel about chipmunk cheeks on a second princess. As for the lips, duck lips are flattering on a, ah, duck, but not on a second princess.

Who know who can benefit from a silicone injection or two on the lips? Jake Cuenca. Manipis ang nguso. He’s been tight-lipped ever since. He looks perpetually displeased about something, or he looks like he smelled something rotten that’s why he is displeased.

Speaking of Jake Cuenca, I read (in a tabloid, of course) Kim Chu got herself a boob job. With the kind of frame she has, big boobs, even medium-sized boobs, is pansinin. I have a friend. She’s tiny and she’s got 36Ds. Pansinin nga. LOL .. If true, about the boob job, I mean, then good luck to Kim Chu. I hope she doesn’t topple over.

YES ! Magazine's 100 Most Beautiful Stars 2009 Is Not Credible, Fake - Anabelle Rama

Talent moneyger Anabelle Rama called YES! Magazine's 100 Most Beautiful Stars 2009 "not credible" and "fake." Reason: Her children Richard Gutierrez and Ruffa Gutirrez are not on the list. Bitter?

Here's the full text message that was sent by Anabelle Rama to the entertainment press:

"Hi dis s Annabelle, nabAsa ko yung column mo dis morning re dalawang magkapatid di nasali sa pagpili ng mOst beautiful faces in d showbiz. Ang sagot ko: Wala akong pakialam sa award galing sa isang local magazine na hindi naman credible.

"Importante panalo ng award c Richard for being #1 primetime King. Until now #1 pa rin ang zorRo. Nagpapasalamat c chard sa taong bayan at mga supporters nya sa t.v. and movie, sa walang pagsawang pagtangkilik sa kanya. Mas importante sa akin ang rating ng show at box office receipts ng movie.

"C ruffa naman nakadisplay pa rin ang award nya sa ms. world secOnd pRincesS. Tinalo nya ang mga kasama nyang 83 contestants sa ibat ibang nation.

"Di ba mas boNgGa ang mga awards na natanggap ng magkapatid? Expected naman yun, paano manalo ng awards ang mga anak ko, ang nagbigay ng award galing sa isang taong nakadEmanda dahil sa pagsusulat ng imbentong storya. We don't expect anything from them, specially fake awards. Plz pass."

If the list is not credible and fake, then why respond at all? Opps, my bad. The words breeding and grace are not in Anabelle Rama's vocabulary. Seriously, Anabelle, it is a made-up list with a very subjective criteria. If you stop to think before opening your big mouth, you will realize it's not worth responding to. Oh well. We're talking about Anabelle Rama. Lahat papatulan niya.

The basis of selection according to YES! Magazine editor-in-chief Jo-Ann Maglipon,

"If you ask me kung ano yung criteria for choosing, it's a mix. It's an alchemy, it's a chemistry that's very hard to explain. But you know that we put together the attitude of the star, the look of the star, the spunk of the star, the intelligence of the star, or the acting prowess of the star, the longevity of the star, or the hotness of the star... Hindi namin tinitingnan lang sa mukha o katawan. It's a whole chemistry that led itself to being beautiful."

Here's the answer why the Gutierrez sibling were out on this year's list:


"Many of the stars that you saw in Edition 1 and Edition 2 including Ruffa, Gretchen Barretto, Kris Aquino are not in this list now. It's just because of the categories that we chose and, like I said, the YES! list is always going to be subjective as any list on beauty will be.

YES! Magazine didn't say but I think another criteria for selection he/she is not on display at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum (coughRuffacough). Also, you're out of the list if a used tissue paper with snot in it shows more raw emotion than you do (coughRichardcough) in the acting department.

As for Anabelle, I have this mental of her owing a secret dark room, where you can only see plenty of candles and dolls. I have friends who told me that there is a certain prayer that you can use to make even your worst enemy lick the ground that you walk on. I can imagine Anabelle reciting this stuff repeatedly in succession while thinking about Wilma Galvante and Jo-Ann Maglipon. Don't be surprised if Anabelle is suddenly several millions richer in the coming months. Dark-sided!

Breaking News: Gretchen Barreto Undergoes Surgery for Appendicitis

Gretchen Barreto underwent surgery for appendicitis after complaining of severe stomach pain, according to SNN (Showbiz News Ngayon). The singer-actress complained of pain right after coming home from Singapore.

An MRI revealed the inflamed appendix. I don't know if Gretchen is so delusional that she thought she can stop her appendix from bursting because she asked the doctors to postpone the surgery to be able to celebrate Father's Day with her partner Tony Boy Cojuangco and daughter Dominique.

I guess even a self-confessed goddess of beauty like Gretchen can't stop pesky medical emergencies like appendicitis from happening. She tried to bargain for postponement but eventually it dawned on her that her delusions have no control over her body. HAHAHA

At first I thought the medical emergency was her silicon-enhanced lips ruptured. Heh. Oh, well. Maybe next time.

In other Gretchen Barreto news, she and erstwhile friend Nadia Montenegro have kissed and made up at the wake of famed talent manager Douglas Quijano. It was Nadia who made the first move, saying she felt it was the right time. I agree. There are so many people and witness there. Even cameras and reporters are following the star-studded wake. Where else is the perfect place to reconcile?

It was also in the same wake that mother and daughter Anabelle Rama and Ruffa Gutierrez took the first step towards their reconciliation. It was Ruffa who approached her moneyger. Kailangan ng magkabati ni Ruffa at Anabelle kasi baka marami pang ibulgar ang matabil nyang nanay tungkol sa kanya.

Speaking of Gretchen. Bong Revilla was also interviewed on SNN to promote an ABS-CBN project titled "Agimat," which originally starred the Revilla patriarch Ramon Revilla Sr.

The project will be headlined by Jake Cuenca, Gerald Anderson, Coco Martin and Bong Revilla's son, Jolo Revilla. Bong's reminder to his son? "Huwag mong pahiyain ang Revilla clan sa akting mo."

When I heard this, I was giving the side eye to Bong Revilla. I wanted to smack him in the face. Napakababaw. Di ba matagal nang binigyan ng kahihiyan ni Jolo Revilla ang pamilya nya? And I'm not talking about his son's ham acting on Totoy Bato.

Ruffa Gutierrez Leaves Family Abode

Ruffa Gutierrez left the family home in Dasmarinas Village, Makati City this morning, 6 June, after a major spat with mommyger/moneyger Anabelle Rama. She left with her two daughters with Ylmaz Bektas, Lorin and Venice.

The fight is over a man who is currently being linked to Ruffa Gutierrez. Anabelle called the unnamed guy "walang respeto." She also added "Ang bata bata mo pa nanliligaw ka na sa babaeng may dalawang anak na."

That's not all. The "My Monster Mom" star added these nice and heartwarming words, "Tigilan na ang pagbibigay ng regalo at pagkain kay Ruffa" and Hindi nya {Anabelle} titigilan ang lalaki hanggat hindi tumitigil sa panliligaw kay Ruffa."

Does Anabelle like anyone for her daughter/sons? I read she doesn't like Jewel Mische for her son Richard Gutierrez because she's fantasizing about basking in the glow of a sure to be royal couple in KC Concepcion and Richard. I'm here gleefully imagining Anabelle's reaction when her other son and Richard's twin, Raymond Gutierrez, takes a man home to meet Mama.

I guessed she liked Ylmaz Bektas for Ruffa. Who wouldn't like a rich and handsome man for their daughter? However, look where that marriage got her? Chombag ever to the max. Although that could have been avoided if Ruffa got divorced first with her first husband, or she was enough to admit her marital status to her second husband-to-be. Ah, the indiscretion of youth. It comes back to haunt you, doesn't it? In Ruffa's case, in the form of black eyes.

But back to Ruffa's current suitor. We are talking about John Lloyd Cruz, aren't we? They are being linked together and there are rumors of them checking in in a hotel but on different rooms. Yeah, that's being discreet but it's not a detail that would deter people from putting two and two together. The two have denied any relationship, saying the hotel story stemmed from the various wrap parties they attended for their teleserye I Love Betty La Fea.

As for Anabelle, ano bang parte ng pamumuhay ng mga anak nya ang hinde nya pinakikialaman? Just let John Lloyd find out for himself how life-changing it is to have a relationship with a Ms World Second Princess. Ruffa Gutierrez is not exactly low maintenance is she? She also comes with two kids. Aside from Ruffa's rich and expensive taste for the high life, two kids and an ex-husband with a bad temper are other baggages that John Lloyd has to contend with in that relationship.

But enough on that, I believe, doomed relationship. Let's talk about what has been bugging me about Ruffa's face for the longest time. She now has trout lips and cheekbones up to here hairline. How much silicone went into those body parts? They're gross and unnatural.

Ruffa is BFFs with Pops Fernandez and Gretchen Barreto. Let's try to come up with a common denominator on those three, okay? Who influenced who? Don't they dare try to influence their other BFF BB Gandanghari. I hope BB is stronger than peer pressure.