Survivor Philippines Celebrity Doubles Showdown: The Final Tribal Council

I wasn't going to write about Survivor Philippines anymore after Philippine Volcano Arnold got voted out. But watching the Jury two nights in the row made me changed my mind. Most of the jury members really takes the cake in bitterness and sourgraping!

Here's what's running through my mind while each jury member makes their case of why they deserve to be in the top 3 and not the trio of Mara, Betong and Step.

John: Why still bitter when you were voted out third? By the time of the final tribal council, John should have realized what went wrong in this strategy: Paranoia. But kudos to him for pointing out to Betong they are playing Survivor Philippines Celebrity Doubles Showdown, not Survivor Philippines Charity.

KC: Got a right to still be bitter because his elimination was still fresh, but recognize that he was voted out because the girls, Mara and Step, was influenced by the jury. As for Betong, give him hell not your vote since Maey told him to vote you out from the jury box. Betong has no strategy from day one, and still has none until the FTC. It was low of KC to hurt Step by just telling her that her dog Taco Boy has gone to dog heaven. Would that news help him decide who should win Survivor?

Survivor Philippines Celebrity Doubles Showdown: Gino Is Voted Out

Gino, The Strategist, has been out-strategist to become the latest votee on Survivor Philippines Celebrity Doubles Showdown. It was another blindside, following John's of the Volcano Rugby team. It was not a blindside for me since as we know the obvious votee is never the one, right editing monkeys?

Survivor Philippines Celebrity Doubles Showdown: The Season of Quitters

The fourth season of Survivor Philippines may well be the shortest season in all of Survivor franchises worldwide because this season is turning out to be the season of quitters. At day 6 or 7, the tribes are ready to merge because five people have already quit.

At the last tribal council of Survivor Philippines Celebrity Doubles Showdown, Jackie Forster and Angelicopter quit. Five minutes after the conclusion of the Tribal Council, starlet Ellen Adarna and her boylet Filo also quit. Only hours into the season, Geneva Cruz, the trainwreck, left the island for reasons that even her therapist would be hard pressed to understand.

Whether the three means girls and 'da who' were influenced by host Richard Gutierrez basically berating them for being the whining-est tribe to ever be formed on Survivor Philippines' four seasons, we'll never know.

What I know is that these bitches, Filo included, were way in over themselves. Whatever excuses they came up with to explain their exit, fact is they couldn't cut it in a harsh environment. And Jackie Forster chose the wrong show to show her sons that she has finally developed a good side.

And we know that those bitches got outplayed by the "cancer" of the Tala tribe, Maribel Lopez. Can those bitches hold their heads high knowing that they got played by Maribel Lopez? No, they couldn't that's why they are still whining and being bitter in Twitterverse.

The filming was over months ago. The castaways and crew have returned to the real world and those bitches They're not the avid fans of Survivor that they are claiming to be. If they are they would know how to separate the game from the real world. Get over it, bitches. And get over, Arnold!

Survivor Philippines Celebrity Doubles Showdown: The Volcanoes

The challenges and drama are heating up on week two of Survivor Philippines Celebrity Doubles Showdown.

The Volcanoes tandem of John and Arnold won the Immunity Challenge, Bola Bola, for the Bulan Tribe. These guys are beasts because they are also largely to thank for the Bulan tribe's victory in the Reward Challenge earlier.

The drama all came down during the Immunity Challenge, courtesy of Angelicopter, Jackie Forster and Isabel Granada. The ladies went up in arms, and even Angelicopter went inside the mud pit to "rescue" her tribe mate Carlo who was run over by the ball being maneuvered by Arnold from the Bulan tribe. Why did this happen? Obviously, because the challenge is very physical, adrenaline is running, and Carlo is trying to be great to the point of being stupid. Would you stand still even when you see a rampaging boulder coming towards you?

Angelicopter, Jackie and Isabel cannot understand this and cried foul, calling Arnold "masamang tao and other names." LOL… Say, what?! In a physical challenge and in a game like Survivor, you get banged and you get bruised. If you can't imagine getting hurt or going hungry, open your Facebook account and play Café World or Farmville.

Those three irk me because they are the types of women who fight for equal rights and opportunities for women, but who are also ready to raise the gender card to fight their battles. Why wouldn't Arnold talk back or say shut up, when all you three were shouting him to death? Just because you're women?! Ten steps back for the Women Empowerment!!

Next time on Survivor Philippines, they're voting out two people. I hope one of them is Angelicopter or Ellen Adarna. The former is bossy and mouthy, and the latter is a downlow, sneaky little bitch.

Survivor Philippines Celebrity Doubles Showdown: Geneva Cruz is a Train Wreck.

I got suckered into watching the latest edition of Survivor Philippines at it promises to outwhine on top of outwit, outplay and outlast. I'm also looking forward to seeing Survivor Philippines host Richard Gutierrez lose his cool over the excessive whining and entitlement of the castaways during one Tribal Council.

It's day one and Geneva Cruz, who is paired up with ex-husband KC Montero, has already brought the drama and the crazy on Survivor Philippines Celebrity Doubles Showdown.

This is why you don't join a reality show with your ex if you two still have unresolved issues between the two of you, or if you're taking meds to keep the crazy at bay and the show's requirement is to leave those meds at home.

What was the reason for Geneva's breakdown? As far as I can gather from Geneva's rantings, she did not want to be there lying and scheming to win 3 million pesos. Geneva went because KC persuaded her to join. Well, Geneva can't very well accuse her ex of using her because she gave her consent to join the reality show. But even the onsite psychologist can't reason out with Geneva Cruz's crazy.

Oh well, Geneva Cruz quit Survivor Philippines Celebrity Doubles Showdown and KC Montero got to stay. Fuck the rules that say "your partner quits and you're out too." I would have love to see more of Geneva's cray cray, but I think the remote island of San Vicente in Palawan will not be able to cope.

According to Geneva, there was no reconciliation between her and KC while on the island. Now we know why. She couldn't even last 24 hours on the island! Poor guy had to deal with that level of crazy for years? Someone tell KC to run as far away from her crazy ex as possible.

Survivor Philippines Celebrity Showdown: Jon Hall Voted Out, Good Riddance

Jon Hall is the first castaway to be voted out and the first jury member in Survivor Philippines Celebrity Showdown.

Jon Hall played hard and left with a whimper. That's what you get when you are so obvious in your game play. In the end, his immunity bracelet got wasted since he chose to play the knight in shining armor to his damsel in distress.

So with that move, Michelle Madrigal will be on my TV for another week, maybe. Job Hall is the perfect bootee - he's an immunity threat. But Jon is easier to watch on TV than Michelle.

I hate that Michelle cries at a drop of a hat, insinuating that they were being ganged up on - she and Jon against the entire tribe. Boohuuu... How easily she forgets strutting on Nagar like a pretty little princess to Jon Hall's king of the jungle when she was in the dominant alliance with Jon and that idiot Ian Batherson.

At any other time I would have rooted for Jon to win Survivor he's the close to the epitome of a winner - just tone down the strategizing a bit and lose Michelle and he's perfect. However, casting Michelle Madrigal screwed him from the very beginning. To put it bluntly, the Survivor producers screwed the game for him because they were clearly after drama not good game play and strategy.

Now, Michelle, if she is Survivor game savvy or perhaps has two brain cells left to rub together, can take advantage of her position as a swing vote in a tribe of nine to stay further in the game.

But knowing her strategy, or the lack of it, Michelle will just wait for luck to fall her way. Acting your way into making your tribemates into reconsidering voting you out does not a strategy make.

Now I have to suffer a one or two episodes showing Michelle lamenting her recently booted beau and how she really wants out of the game.

And now if one member of that tribe is smart enough to get away from that herd mentality, they will let Michelle stay and vote out Akiro Sato or Ervic Vijandre. It's time to weed out the strongest.

Survivor Philippines Celebrity Showdown: "Tribe Leader" Buhawi Meneses Is Voted Out

How useless are you as the tribe leader that three members of your tribe unanimously voted you out without talking to each other? Well, at least that's what the editing of tonight's boot episode tried to show us.

Survivor Philippines Celebrity Showdown has just got boring with the Magan tribe appearing in their third straight tribal council. Tribe leader Buhawi Meneses saw his torched snuffed out this night because frankly his tribe mates might as well fend for themselves. Buhawi was one the contestants that showed a lost of promised early on. I don't know what happened, but he suddenly lost steam following the boot of Doc Ferdz.

Buhawi was never felt by his tribe. So good riddance. Even his tribemates did not shed a single tear. So moving on.

Survivor producers must have been worried about losing viewership because judging by next week's episodes, Magan will be no more and the game once again becoming a battle between two tribes.

Good news for me because I will bail if the fuckery that is the current Survivor Philippines continues. A talent contest for the reward challenge? What is that?! Either GMA 7 is searching for their next big star in Survivor Philippines or the mosquitoes have eaten the last remaining brain cells of challenge producers, hence they can't think of a more survival-type challenge.

Please, I want to see Jon Hall's ass kicked - preferably by Moi but anybody will do. I'm not picky. Ian Batterson's discovery of Michelle Madrigal and Jon Hall's trickery regarding the gold coins is very promising. I hope the stupid moron follows through with his plan to go along with Moi, Ervic and whathisface?... Aaron!

And please enough with the visits by former Survivor contestants! Ano ito guesting ng mg talents ng GMA-7? I don't need to see Nanay Zita there, please. If I want to see her I will try to find her billboard for a laundry soap along Edsa or some highway.

Survivor Philippines Celebrity Showdown: Not Too Shocking Boot of Mykah

Mykah Flores, the bidang extra, turned out to be another oxygen stealer, another mouth to feed who must be booted out STAT. Magan tribe did not disappoint by voting out Mykah in last night's tribal council.

Mykah will not be missed. So that's that.

On the more interesting happenings at camps this week.

Thank goodness that only-the-leader-will-vote-the-next-bootee thingy was just a one-time event. If it were up to Buhawi again he might have decided to let Mykah stay at the last moment.

Buwi is annoying me. For a leader, he actually has no balls that's why he got insecure with Doc Ferdz. He hasn't got the mettle to last til the end because he won't be able to make the right decisions.

Moi and Aaron giving those coconut leaf wall/roof panels to Sar Mayee will work in a networking situation but not in a game where the smartest and strongest has the most likelihood of emerging the winner. As much as I dislike Michelle Madrigal and Jon Hall, they were right in that making the other more miserable and weak will be to Nagar's advantage.

What's with Jon hating Moi? Galit ba siya sa pangit? I am not saying Moi is unattractive but looking at his standard of beauty (hello Audrey Miles and Michelle Madrigal), Moi definitely gets the shortest end of the stick.

Jon Hall is strategizing hard, as in very hard. I suspect it will come to bite him in the ass sooner rather than later. If the bitee were Moi or Aaron, that would be a fitting comeuppance.

The "kidnapping" of Ervic by Nagar is like the monkey wrench thrown into Jon's plans for Moi and Aaron. I would really like to see either Jon or Michelle voted out by the swing vote of Ian Batterson. Ian is okay by himself but gets annoying when I see him in the company of Jon and Michelle.

Last night's tribal council was really boring. I found myself thinking over and over again "I do not need to know these things." Boring questions and even more boring answers.

Next time on Survivor Philippines, a whole episode of Solenn's birthday celebration. Really.

Survivor Philippines Celebrity Showdown: Bossy Doc Ferdz Booted Out By Twist

A twist in the old game of Survivor saw the elimination Doc Ferdz Recio from Survivor Philippines Celebrity Showdown. A twist so early in the game. But then again, I wouldn't call it a twist. It's a completely different contest from the old game of Survivor that millions love to watch.

To have the leader of the tribe decide who gets eliminated and who gets to stay, really? So the tribe leaders, Buwi Meneses, Aira of Sex Bomb and Jon Hall, are completely safe until come merge time, I suppose? That's like wearing an immunity necklace for the first half of the show. And what did the tribe leaders do to deserve it? Winning one immunity game and being voted to be the leader. Didn't take much, did it?

Anyway, I knew Doc Ferdz was the bootee even from the first part of tonight's episode. In his taking heads, Doc Ferdz was clean shaven, not even a day's growth of beards. And although he was wearing the same white sleeveless shirt, it was as clean as an Ariel-laundered white shirt. You can tell the talking heads were done the morning after the elimination. Really sloppy editing jobs, Survivor editors!

Logically, Doc Ferdz should have stayed because in a tribe vs tribe contest you need to have strong members for the reward and immunity challenges. Doc Ferdz is bossy but he is reliable in the challenges. Mykah is weak. Erase the awa factor and Mykah really has no place in a game like Survivor.

Logic aside Doc Ferdz had it coming. There were too many cooks in the kitchen in the Magan tribe. Bossy types go early in the game because they unknowingly piss off the rest of the tribe members. And this is why Doc Ferdz is now comfortably resting in his hotel room. Meanwhile, we get to watch Karen de los Reyes bitch, bitch and bitch some more, Pretty Triszha whine, whine and whine some more, and Michelle Madrigal strut around the island, confident in her place as consort to tribe leader and real-life bf Jon Hall.

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Princess Snell

Survivor Philippines Celebrity Showdown: Vapid Useless Twat Princess Snell Eliminates Herself

Startruck contestant Princess Snell quit from Survivor Philippines Celebrity Showdown within the first three days of the competition.

It's good that she quit because she saved her fellow contestants the energy of booting out this vapid useless piece of oxygen-stealer.

Nasilaw sa 3 million pesos - the primary reason why this pathetic bitch joined the contest without thinking of what it would entail.

She quit because she hasn't eaten for two days. Hey, it's not like the other contestants had themselves a buffet and hid it from her.

The contestants were collecting shells for their meal but according to this insipid twat she felt ashamed to be eating the small shells so she did not partake.

What this vacuous bitch failed to say was she felt ashamed partaking of the food she had no hand in collecting. Lazy in addition to being a waste of space and oxygen.

The twat also confessed to being unprepared for camp life considering that she works out two hours a day. No shit, Einstein! An isolated island in Thailand is not Shangri-la Hotel.

Useless reality contestants like Princess Snell are either the first bootee or they go the distance. Not for anything positive they contribute to the show but for making anyone that sits beside them in the finals look good - and therefore a shoo-in for the win.

I Googled this fuck and found she had just had her 18th birthday this year. That's not the interesting part. What made me go hmmmm was she posed for the men's magazine FHM before joining Starstruck.

It's either the vapid twat was not legal when she posed for an adult men's magazine or she took an axe to slice a great portion off her actual age.

If it's not yet obvious in this post, I hate this insipid bitch with the rays of a thousand suns. For a purist Survivor fan like me it incites a great deal of hate to see contestants on my TV just because they're pretty when there are other contestants who could have been more interesting to watch.