Let's Give a Toast to Solenn Heussaff! (hick!)

Soleen Huessaff is fighting mad over reports that she was a drunken mess during her Lenten break in Boracay that she couldn't walk under her own steam .

Solenn Heussaff is taking on one reporter who wrote about her drunken antics, but she might as well be battling the mafia that is the local entertainment press, both legit and fly-by-night.

Here's the news tidbit that so pissed off Ms Heussaff:

“Mukhang in-enjoy nang husto ni Solenn ang kanyang bakasyon sa Boracay. Unang gabi pa lang niya ay nagpakalasing na ito nang husto kasama ang mga kaibigan. Namataan siya kinabukasan ng alas singko ng umaga na nakabalik sa hotel na binibitbit na lang dahil sa sobrang kalasingan.”

Through Black Berry Messenger here's what Ms Heussaff has to say for herself. It's so long and incoherent in some cases that it reads like a drunk person letting out all the injustices that the world had dealt her infront of her drinking buddies.

So I'm breaking her ramblings to pieces for it to make sense.

I’d like an apology, I’m very offended by what he has written since what he said is false. I didn’t go to boracay to get drunk, I went to relax and have fun with my friends. Obviously easter in boracay is known for the parties, I’m not going to deny that I didn’t go out and have a few drinks. why go to boracay holy week if your planning to knit a sweater. But what he wrote is pure hallucination. I never got hom drunk like he stated or carried by men... Did go home at late hours in bora with my friends and would always swim before heading to the hotel with my girl friends.”

I love the Holy Week. Every year I look forward to reading the drunken and crazy antics of celebrities as well as feeling celebrities who go to Boracay to rest and unwind. There was this cat fight between the now defunct Sex Bomb dancers and some person who hates music. Another year there was this bloody fight between ex-lovers Alex Crisano and Ethel Booba. Boracay and Holy Week have yet to fail me.

I don't blame Solenn from partaking of the sweet nectar, never mind that it's the Holy Week.

C'mon, after being called a 'bimbo' in a French-produced documentary, who wouldn't drown their international humiliation with several glasses of alcoholic drink?

The French crew are ingrates after getting help from Solenn's French father, I agree. But Solenn and her father should have found out first what the documentary is about.

At the very least, Solenn should have asked for the title. The docu was "Stories of Gangsters, Drug Lords and Bimbos." How much more enlightening could it get? Dumbass probably assumed the docu will feature the beautiful girls of the Philippines frolicking at the beach - while their gangster and drug lord sugar daddies look on.

I don't have an issue with Solenn fighting with a reporter over an alleged false report. But to call out knitters of sweaters?

How dare you, Solenn?! Are you saying sweater knitters can't go to Boracay to knit sweaters? Sweater knitters are a dying breed as it but to kick them while their down? That's dark sided. I can only assume Solenn was kicked out of her knitting club as a child and has been plotting to take them down since then.

Gurl you're a lush so just own it. Don't drag the innocent sweater knitters into this mess.

Seriously, this issue is not a big deal. Get over it. If your not thick-skinned enough for show business, then switch to the business of knitting and knit in peace.