The Azkals Did Not Rape Anybody!

That's what Azkals team officials are saying, that team members Jason Sabio, Simon Greatwich, Anton del Rosario most especially, the 6'6" all over wonder Neil Etheridge, did not have unlawful sex with that woman, an unnamed Filipina woman, in the house of team manager Don Palami.

The allegations came from a shady mothef**ker by the name of Paul Weiler in an e-mail report.

Players Anton del Rosario, Jason Sabio and especially Simon Greatwich were involved and recorded the incident also via video cam (Jason Sabio was the one holding camera). Neil Etheridge and his very best friend Simon Greatwich did rape the woman and it seems happened in a villa/house of general manager Dan Palami (who seems not know about what happened in his house and was not there). Master mind's of this sex violence idea seems Anton del Rosario .. so far I know he did not rape the woman but pushed the others to do it.

Weiler says he's a German football coach and a former consultant for the Philippine Football Federation. The motive of this Weiler character is kind of suspect because he apparently he was told "No" when he applied for a certain job with the Team Azkals organization.

As for the players implicated in this rape allegations, I ask if these players really need to rape a woman to get their regular fix of sexy times. "Tindig palang, ano ba?!"

Take for example, mi amor Neil. Look at that 6'6" all over fine specimen of man. Have you ever beheld such beauty and perfection?

But let it not be said that I'm not championing women's causes, so let us wait for the alleged victim to air her side of the story.

If it's true that mi amor Neil did this, then it would be time to dismantle my little Neil Etheridge shrine. But before doing that, I'd probably go like this:

Ricky Rivero Survives Stab Wounds

Ricky Rivero, an alum of That's Entertainment, has eight lives left after he lived to tell how he sustained multiple stab wounds from an attack by a certain Hans Ivan Ruiz.

Thank God Hans Ivan Ruiz is a stupid lazy-ass because he used a bread knife to carry out his evil deed. If not, there would have been one less member of Ninja Kids.

According to police accounts, Hans Ivan Ruiz was caught at the scene of the crime still clutching Ricky Rivero's laptop bag.

Hans Ivan Ruiz went back to Rivero's house on Masikap street V Luna, Diliman, Quezon City supposedly to clean the scene of the crime. That's when he was caught by responding barangay tanods.

Despite stab wounds to the chest and stomach, Ricky Rivero managed to drive himself to the nearest hospital. Ricky asked for help from Hans Ivan Ruiz, but Ruiz, aside from being a loser at life, also proved to be useless during emergency situations.

Despite the fact that Ricky Rivero was thisclose to meeting St Peter, he's no angry at Hans Ivan Ruiz. They've been friends a long time, says Ricky.

Um, I know time is relative but meeting the low-rent callboy on Facebook five months ago is not a long time to know a person. Look what happened. With all those stab wounds, Ricky may never take in water or any kind of fluid the same way ever again.

If Ricky is no angry at Hans Ivan, is he not pursuing criminal charges against his user-friendly "friend."

That's a same because I really would like to see Hans Ivan became a prison bitch for a change.

Ricky Rivero's ordeal should be a lesson to all the gays. Don't go to bed and sleep if you just had a heated argument with your fuck buddy over money. Huwag magpakakampante.

Someone Hates Sarah Geronimo's Dad

And I am not surprise, why? Not that I am condoning violence.

The father of popular singer and actress Sarah Geronimo was assaulted inside the parking area of the ABS-CBN network’s ELJ Building, in Quezon City, at around noon on Sunday (August 8).

Geronimo's father Delfin, 55, was shaken by the attack at 12:50 p.m. but he got away without injuries.

A suspect in the attack, Paulino Mercado, 43, has been arrested and placed in police custody. The suspect who claimed he had a gift from a beauty product company was waiting for the actress' father at the parking area.

The suspect used a stun gun on Geronimo’s father who was able to escape from the suspect and seek help from the security guard who arrested Mercado.

Police are investigating the motive of the assault.

A few months back, Sarah Geronimo's father made showbiz news when he was alleged to have confronted, complete with hand gestures ( I didn't know Sarah's father is Italian), in the hallways of ABS-CBN.

It was alleged that the father told Rayver, in a not-so-polite way, to "Leave Sarah alone!" or words to that effect.

As a result, Sarah lost a potential beau and Cristine Reyes gained one.

I'm not saying Rayver has anything to do with the assault. I'm saying a check on the family of trees of Rayver and the suspect could not possibly hurt.