October 27, 2010

God is Good

Because He made Sam Pinto almost perfect face-wise but didn't give her enough brain power to answer simple questions.

If you want a trophy girlfriend who will look pretty beside you in parties and events, then Sam Pinto is the girl for you.

At presscon for a movie in which she has a little bit of role, Sam Pinto was asked what her role in the movie was? Sam brought out that perfect white smile of hers to distract the audience that she was scrambling for answers and is coming up blank.

Instead of answering I was the BFF of the lead actress or I was the one who was unfortunate enough to run over by a truck in the movie, Sam told reporters to just watch the movie and find out.

Wrong answer. You don't say "just watch the movie" to movie reporters unless you have complimentary tickets at the ready.

It's either Sam Pinto is pa-mysterious effect to make it appear her role is this "oh-so-exciting-worth-watching breakthrough performance or she's simply a nitwit. Yeah, let's go with the second possibility.

I watch Sam in Pinoy Big Brother: Melason Edition and she has the personality of a rock. No offense to rocks out there. The humongous hour glass in the Pinoy Big Brother house was more exciting to watch. At least the hour glass will tell you when time's up.

The only time she showed personality was when she drunk her ass off and went drama queen with the resident transgendered, Rica. The next day was back to same old, same old. Typical.

I get the vibes Sam considers showbiz bakya but "acting" is the easiest way to be rich and popular. You know, a girl's gotta do what she gotta do.

October 22, 2010

Kimeralds Are Not Guilty! - Gerald Anderson

Gerald Anderson rose to the defense of those crazy Kimerald fans, saying he doesn't believe they are behind the death threats directed at him and Bea Alonzo.

After crying in a press con, Gerald might as well cut off his balls and hand them to the Kimeralds. The Kimerald can then place Gerald's balls in a place of honor at their Kim Chui shrine where they meet regularly to chant their idol's name.

If the criminal minds who are the Kimeralds are not the culprit, then who? We know just a whiff of Gerald Anderson sniffing around a girl other than KIm would be enough to push them over the edge. Mention the names Pauleen Luna and Empress Schuck from Gerald's past and the Kimeralds are ready to compose death threats.

Kimeralds should just let Gerald Anderson be. He's what, 21 years old? He's young and should be allowed to let out his inner manwhore. Kim ain't doing it enough for him. Accept the truth, Kimeralds!

Survivor Philippines Celebrity Showdown: Jon Hall Voted Out, Good Riddance

Jon Hall is the first castaway to be voted out and the first jury member in Survivor Philippines Celebrity Showdown.

Jon Hall played hard and left with a whimper. That's what you get when you are so obvious in your game play. In the end, his immunity bracelet got wasted since he chose to play the knight in shining armor to his damsel in distress.

So with that move, Michelle Madrigal will be on my TV for another week, maybe. Job Hall is the perfect bootee - he's an immunity threat. But Jon is easier to watch on TV than Michelle.

I hate that Michelle cries at a drop of a hat, insinuating that they were being ganged up on - she and Jon against the entire tribe. Boohuuu... How easily she forgets strutting on Nagar like a pretty little princess to Jon Hall's king of the jungle when she was in the dominant alliance with Jon and that idiot Ian Batherson.

At any other time I would have rooted for Jon to win Survivor he's the close to the epitome of a winner - just tone down the strategizing a bit and lose Michelle and he's perfect. However, casting Michelle Madrigal screwed him from the very beginning. To put it bluntly, the Survivor producers screwed the game for him because they were clearly after drama not good game play and strategy.

Now, Michelle, if she is Survivor game savvy or perhaps has two brain cells left to rub together, can take advantage of her position as a swing vote in a tribe of nine to stay further in the game.

But knowing her strategy, or the lack of it, Michelle will just wait for luck to fall her way. Acting your way into making your tribemates into reconsidering voting you out does not a strategy make.

Now I have to suffer a one or two episodes showing Michelle lamenting her recently booted beau and how she really wants out of the game.

And now if one member of that tribe is smart enough to get away from that herd mentality, they will let Michelle stay and vote out Akiro Sato or Ervic Vijandre. It's time to weed out the strongest.

October 13, 2010

Petrang Kabayo Reviewed by Cinema Evaluation Board

And nothing. No rating. WHATSOEVER!

The nerve of those snotty bitches thumbing their noses at this masterpiece, this remake of the 90s box office hit starring Roderick Paulate.

What do these bitches know about movies and movie making. Didn't they read that Vice Ganda, star of this horsey flick, nearly died from heart attack because she absolutely hates as in abhor snakes and she had to act opposite a large boa constrictor in one of the scenes?

A true professional of his craft, Vice Ganda neigh to the occasion. We know that boa could have swallowed Vice, literally and figuratively, without trying.

Speaking of Vice, I gotta admit I admire his balls for speaking out against ex MTRCB chair La Guardia, who Vice feels did her job so well that she was aiming to suspend Showtime for a second time.

However, less than 24 hours, Vice took his balls back by admitting mea culpa and I think even calling La Guardia on the phone to explain the words she said against the chairman.

The words were basically "chairman La Guardia does not exist for her."

If you must really be a bitch own it. Otherwise, shut your mouth.

There were people calling Vice mayabang and ill mannered. Yeah, those people have never spoken ill nothing against another person their entire life, not once.

The irony of it all is that a few days after Vice Ganda stuffed his ego and pride in his pants together with his balls, La Guardia was replaced by Mary Grace Poe Llamanzares. Where's ex-La Guardia now? Totally not monitoring Showtime or any other show. Ain't that a bitch?

October 12, 2010

Kimerald Should Get A Life

Instead of making Gerald Anderson cry.

That's what Gerald Anderson did - cry - while answering a question from a reporter at the recent press conference for his new movie with Kim Chui "Til My Heartaches End."

Their fans, known interplanetarily as the Kimerald, allegedly threatened to splash acid, the kind that disfigures, on the faces of Gerald and his alleged new squeeze, Bea Alonzo. As if that's not cuckoo enough, the Kimerald allegedly sent death threats to Gerald and his mother.

During the same press con, Kim Chui, also with tears rolling down her cheeks, asked their fans to behave and stop with the threats. That's all Kim Chui can do really because who will watch her movies and give her lavish gifts if the Kimerald are all put in straight jackets by men in white and sent into a padded white cell.

Just because the Kimerald gave Kim and Gerald each wide screen TVS does not give them the right to make Gerald cry. They could just have asked for the TV back, you know.

Who can blame Gerald for outgrowing Kim? Kim herself has changed over the years from her stint in Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition, thanks very much to plastic surgery. Surely, Gerald has the right to switch to liempo after dining for years on bulalo.

These are the same fans who threatened voodoo on ABS-CBN executives who will dare to break Kim and Gerald apart. Who needs fans when you have the Kimeralds around? Craaazy is putting it mildly.